A Work In Progress

I am working on writing out my testimony for a thing we are doing at MOPS.  Once I get it all done and perfected I will be sure to share it on here.  In the meantime, I have been trying to figure out a 'main message' of what I have learned through my journey.  I'm pretty sure I have settled on 'insecurities'.  We'll see where that takes me.

However, I am sometimes reminded that even though I have made significant progress in many of my insecurities over the years since being saved, I am still a work in progress. 

I was put in a stressful situation the other night being forced to choose between what my kids needed and an activity I had made a commitment to.  The commitment is usually not an issue but this particular night my husband also had something come up.  I explained that I would appreciate if I could get my parts done and be able to leave a bit early.   My requests fell on deaf/unsympathetic ears and I was left standing there stewing about what to do.

The insecurities crept into my mind, going crazy with thoughts like, "no one else ever has scheduling issues like I do," and "this person has never really liked me anyway, so now I am just annoying him once again and confirming that I am not good enough," and "if it was this other person I am sure they would make sure she could get out of here when she needed or they would tell her it was OK to leave instead of saying, 'I guess you need to do what you need to do (hearing definite hints of which one they think I should do)'"

I let these thoughts take over as I stood there watching the clock tick, feeling very inadequate and I finally caved and left in tears (added to my insecurities has been a very busy and stressful week which always makes me overly emotional anyway).   Then I felt even more insecure thinking of what everyone I left behind was thinking about the drama-queen-cry-baby that just walked out the door. 

Ugh!  Why do I do this to myself?  Why did I stand there and let those thoughts take over my mind and heart?  Why do I care so much about what others think about me and what they think I should be doing?

Granted, this used to be a daily occurrence that made a huge part in daily decisions that I made and I have moved well past that.  I have to remember to look at it as "imperfect progress".  I have made huge improvements, but still have minor setbacks here and there.

It is times like these that I am ever so thankful for a husband who swoops me up and coddles me at times that I melt down, then threatens to go "have a word" with the people involved (even though he won't do it, it riles him up enough to think about it and makes me feel very protected). 

I am also very thankful that God's Word reminds me:
1.  "destroy speculations and every lofty thing raised up against the knowledge of God, and take every thought captive to the obedience of Christ"  2 Cor 10:5
2. "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and petition with thanksgiving let present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.  Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you." Phil 4:6-9
3. "be strong in the Lord and in the strength of his might. Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the schemes of the devil." Eph 6:10

I need to stop listening to the insecurities that the devil tries to convince me are true.  I need to, instead, stand on and trust in what these verses tell me are true.

Do you have insecurities?  What verses help you in those times (also read as: "searching fore more verses to use in my testimony")?  (hehehe)