Friday, May 27, 2011

Something New

Well, we'll give this a shot. 

Me:  A real mom.  I love my kids to death and wouldn't change staying at home with them every day for anything.  However, I am not a super mom, a coupon clipper or Carol Brady.  I try my best and fail, lots.   I yell at my kids, then apologize for losing it (most of the time).  I am on my computer way too much rather than playing with them, as I should be (feel free to shake a finger at me).  I take naps (yes, gasp in horror here).  And I am way too quick to jump on them for simple things that probably wouldn't hurt much, like having races with eachother down the hallway (however in my defense, one of these races did end in a trip to the ER to have my son's head glued shut) or jumping on my couches.  Man, how I wish I was better.  I want to be better.  I know with God's help I can be better.  So, here I am.  Typing out my musings to be a better mom.  Being real.  No cover ups, no pretending, just me.  The real mom that I am.

Me:  A real wife.  I love my husband with all my heart and would (most days) bend over backwards to help him.  But I am me.  Selfish.  I want him to help me.  I want him to spoil me (flowers?  chocolates?  anything?).  I want to not have to do it all sometimes.  I screw up.  I start fights.  I pick fights.  I whine.  And I definitely don't keep the house as clean and organized as he would like (but he is so gracious not to point it out most days).  I know where to look for guidance on this one and, oh, how I long to be like that Proverbs 31 woman. . . but really?  Is it even possible?  I am SO far from that.  I know with God, I can get closer than I am.  So, here I am.  Typing out my musings to be a better wife.  Being real.  No cover ups, no pretending, just me. The real wife that I am.

Me:  A real child of God.  I love my God and how He loves me.  Even though I fail at all the stuff I have listed above (which doesn't even touch on 1/2 of my failings).  I purpose to do my quiet times every day, but I don't (again, insert gasp of horror).  I start out reading my Bible and my mind drifts to the laundry or the other fiction book I want to read.  I actually sit and read my Bible and get nothing out of what I read, so I get frustrated and think I'm not 'good enough' at it and give up.  I want to memorize scripture, but always come up with an excuse as to why I don't.  But, I am trying and, again, with His help I know I can get closer to what He really wants me to be.  So, here I am.  Typing out my musings to be a better child.  Being real. No cover ups, no pretending, just me.  The real Christian that I am. 

So, if you plan on being judgmental or comparing yourself to me, you have come to the wrong place.  I just want to be real.  I just want to spend my time with God.  And since I seem to be better at typing than writing in a journal, I plan to journal this way.  My time with God on a Blog.  Me, out there.  Being Real.  A real piece of my heart.