Confidence

Dictionary.com defines confidence as full trust; belief in the powers, trustworthiness, or reliability of a person or thing.  Confidence is something I am fairly fickle about.  It totally depends on the group of people I am with or in and the role I am playing.

Put me in a room a people in a formal setting and tell me to lead and my confidence is under the table.  Put me in a small group of good friends and my confidence is just great. 

Put me singing alone in front of people and my confidence is shaking along with my voice.  Put me singing in a role as a character and my confidence is at a fairly decent level and steady. 

Put me in a group of people I feel pretty even-keeled with and my confidence is normal.  Put me in a group that I really want to fit into or of girls that I think are 'way more cool' than I am and my confidence is totally fake.

As you can see confidence is only mine when I am totally comfortable with the situation.  So, when the author of Hebrews tells us in 4:16 to approach the throne of grace with confidence it makes me wonder.

Approaching a throne is not something that I see as an easy and comfortable task.  Yet, as it says, we approach the throne of grace, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.  Such a throne should be comfortable to approach.

It made me stop and think about how confident I am, not only in myself, but in Jesus.  Sadly, I would have to admit that this confidence waivers upon the group of people and situation I am in as well.  Geesh!  This is pretty convicting. 

The first thing that comes to my mind is a great night I had out with some girlfriends recently.  We went to a great restaurant for a friend's birthday and just before we ate, God really put it on my heart to say grace.  This is something I have been trying to do better with (praying before all my meals), whether at home on my counter, sitting with my family at the table, at a fast food restaurant or nice sit down joint.  Anyway, I digress. 

The thought was sent to me and I sat and debated for a couple of seconds whether to just do it quietly to myself or offer to pray for the group.  Now, this was a group of friends who were all Christians so it was not a huge deal.  I can promise you if I would have had this thought with another group of friends, I would have squished it as soon as it fluttered through my head.  Sad, I know.  Thankfully, God gave me the confidence and the words to pray for all of us and we had a wonderful meal and evening.

So, God has now placed it on my heart to be better in my confidence in Him in all situations, and when the confidence isn't feeling to strong, to come to Him in full confidence and ask Him to grant it to me. 

Father, I know how fickle I can be.  I waiver back and forth in so many things when it comes to you.  My time with you, my prayers to you, my confidence in you.  Help me in all of these areas to remember that time and prayer with you helps me deepen my relationship with you and renews my strength.  Help me have confidence in you and through you in all situations.  Jeremiah 17:7 “But blessed is the one who trusts in the LORD, whose confidence is in Him."