I sat praying before I opened up my Bible today and got yet another smack on the side of the head (One of these days all these smacks are going to lead to some headaches). I prayed for my beautiful sister who had a terrible night of labor only to end in a c-section, but thankfully produced an adorable, healthy baby boy (both are doing great and hopefully getting some rest). I prayed for my kids, my husband and my day. Then I prayed for my time in His Word.
I prayed that I would glean some sort of wisdom out of what I read today. Then the smack came, ever so gently. "Do you want to glean wisdom for yourself or for material to write on you blog and impress your readersv(all 4 of you) ?" Ouch. Good one.
Is it OK if it is a little bit of both? Having this blog and keeping myself accountable through readers is a good motivator for me. Getting in the Word each day in hopes of having an ounce of wisdom seep through for something to journal on helps feed my hunger for what I gain. Oh, don't get me wrong, I desire time in God's Word even on days where I have no nuggets to share and just walk away knowing I spent some quality time with Him.
Is that so bad? The results are great: Time in the Bible and growing my relationship with God. But if part of my motives are in the wrong place does it negate the good that comes out of it?
1 Cor 4:20 says "For the kingdom of God is not a matter of talk but of power." I think this little nugget for my reading today helped me feel a little bit better about my 'talk ' on my blogging journal of quiet times. I may try and talk the talk of a savvy blogger (sorry for the lame attempt you lovingly keep reading for me), but if the power of God and the Holy Spirit aren't sought with my heart as well, I don't think I'd really gain any little wisdoms to share with you.
So, God caught me with some motives a little out of place. But recognizing the issue is the first step toward cleaning it up, right? On the flip side of that, however, through this blog and typing out my journaling for my quiet times has really improved the quality of quiet times that I do have. I have learned and gained so much and I can't wait to see how far I can still get.
What are your thoughts? Is having an alterior motive aside from pure time with God a "no-no", or is it simply a tool God is using to connect with me on a different level?
Lord, help me keep my motives pure. Let me desire to spend time in your Word so that I may benefit from it. I pray that the things I share on this blog would help others that read it as well, but help me keep that as only an added benefit and not a reason. I thank you for 'teaching me your statutes and opening my eyes that i may behold wonderful things from your law' and letting me share what I have gained with others. Let my eyes fully be set on your power and not on impressing people with my 'talk'. Forgive me for my impure motives before and thank you for revealing this to me.
Oooooh. God and I talk about this a lot. I ask myself, "Would I still seek God even if I didn't write about it? Would I still have the desire to know Him more and deeper even if no one ever knew about it?" My answer is YES and I have a sneaking suspicion yours would be too.
ReplyDeleteIt also has helped to get a few hurtful comments on my blog and still be able to keep going. When you're willing to do it, though you know others may disagree, you know you're not doing it for your own ego.
And I think being honest about it with yourself is a very positive place to be in. God will keep you humble when you keep seeking Him. You are in a good place, girl. Keep focused on Him FIRST.
I often wonder if I do ANYTHING with a pure motive. (and the answer is "no"). But knowing that God is mindful that we are but dust, we offer to Him our pitiful offerings done with impure motives but heartfelt intentions and He in His grace makes something beautiful out of them. The key I think is to keep offering, allowing Him to refine.
ReplyDelete