Quick to Defend

I am not one to take things lightly.  If attacked, I will fight back.  A fault.

Apparently, I have something to learn.  1 Peter 2:23 Peter shows us Jesus' example.  "When they hurled their insults at him, he did not retaliate; when he suffered, he made no threats.  Instead he entrusted himself to him who judges justly."

This is when Jesus was being beaten to death.  He didn't fight back.  This is when he had blood dripping from his face and pain resonating throughout his body.  He didn't fight back.  He took it all in stride.  He knew what was coming and didn't run away.  And yet, if someone attacks me even just a little, I fight back?

Now, I am even just speaking of 'attack' in the verbal sense.  I, thankfully, have never been physically attacked outside of some fun and games.  This is a gut-wrencher.

Why am I so quick to defend myself?  Shouldn't my example, my love of Christ and sharing my love with others speak for itself?  Shouldn't others know enough about me to know if a wrongful accusation is made? 

And if I make a mistake, why do I try to excuse my way out of it?  Trying to find blame in other places, with other people.  Even if being 'attacked' for the mistake, wouldn't it speak volumes louder to own up to it and apologize than to try to defend it?

Oh, I have lessons to learn.  God has some work to do in me, but apparently he just started it by showing me these verses today.

"He himself bore our sins in his body on the tree, so that we might die to sins and live for righteousness; by his wounds you have been healed." v 24

Time to stop living for myself and my pleasure, defending against 'attacks' and start living for righteousness.  What does it really matter if someone thinks badly of you?  God knows the truth.  You know the truth and frankly, no one else matters.  (But if you really must - if people know you well enough, they probably know the truth too).