Ok, so the evidence is obvious that I have been doing a pretty crummy job of getting into God's Word lately. Its been evident in my attitude (sadly) and on here since I never take the time to journal about what I have been reading even when I pick up my Bible.
Last night at my Bible Study while reading in Ephesian 6 about putting on God's armor, however, God spoke to me. Why do we think reading His Word is so hard? Why do I think that I don't have time for it? But yet, I have time to do pointless reading on my phone or Facebook or all those other things I consider "easy reading". It is obvious in these verses that a huge part of God armor is knowing what He teaches us through His Word.
I talk myself out of reading my Bible because I think it is going to take a lot of effort, a lot of thinking and processing, and a lot of time. But all of these things do not have to be true. We were discussing these excuses last night as a group of women and the Holy Spirit spoke to my heart to stop thinking these things. Even if I only have 5 minutes, if I stop to read in my Bible instead of on my phone, computer or that fiction book I started, God will use that time to help me. I can treat it as "mindless" reading, but God can still use that time to teach me, to show me His ways, to encourage me.
And, heck, if I start it off as an easy 5 minute read and get dug in for 20 with so much insight I can't help but journal about it, Glory to Him! That is how He will choose to use that time with me.
Five minutes of "mindless" reading in my Bible has got to benefit me a whole lot more than five minutes of reading junk on Facebook!
Friday, February 28, 2014
Tuesday, February 4, 2014
Disciples vs. Christians
Well, I have finally returned. Things have been crazy here with building and subbing and trying to survive in my in-law's basement. I haven't been totally ignoring God's Word. I really have been reading quite frequently in the past month, but just normally during a break while subbing on my phone app or in the car as I wait for the kids to get out of school, so the blogging and journaling part has lacked.
So, I am just going to pick up from where I am today and keep moving forward.
The hubs and I started attending a Sunday School class at our church last fall. This January we started a new series called "Christian: Its Not What You Think" by Andy Stanley and it is amazing and challenging and I can't wait every week for the next lesson.
The first week talked about what the title/label/word "Christian" means. And frankly, no one really knows. If you asked 20 different people you would get 20 different answers. He clued me into the fact that the word "Christian" is only used 3 times in the Bible and it is used only then as a derogatory label given from outsiders to the group of people who were spreading the news of Jesus after His death. The followers of Christ called themselves "Disciples." He goes on to say how using the word disciples is so scary because it is so clearly defined as a follower of Christ. Using the word Christian is so much easier because you can use whatever definition fits you the best. A disciple can't be construed as anything less.
Then, Stanley goes on to share Jesus' last command to his apostles. Some of His last words to them while He was with them, tells them exactly how to behave as His followers, "So now I am giving you a new commandment: Love each other. Just as I have loved you, you should love each other. Your love for one another will prove to the world that you are my disciples.” (John 13:34-35 NLT)
Love is how we show the world that we are His followers. Love is how we teach them about Him. Love is how we bring them in. Love above all else.
So, my word for 2014 is Love.
I have been doing some searching for all of God's words on love. Of course I started off in the obvious 1 Corinthians 13 and God really showed me some new things as I took these well-known verses one by one. He even showed me some very specific things that I am dealing with right now as we build our house.
Today I read 1 Corinthians 14:1a "Love will be your highest goal." I love this since it is my New Year's "Goal" for the year. Above everything else I hope to accomplish, above anything else I want to do, love comes first.
It looks so easy written on a page, but our sinful nature makes it so much harder. So I am journeying on. Trying to find any way I can make the choice to love above all else.
So, I am just going to pick up from where I am today and keep moving forward.
The hubs and I started attending a Sunday School class at our church last fall. This January we started a new series called "Christian: Its Not What You Think" by Andy Stanley and it is amazing and challenging and I can't wait every week for the next lesson.
The first week talked about what the title/label/word "Christian" means. And frankly, no one really knows. If you asked 20 different people you would get 20 different answers. He clued me into the fact that the word "Christian" is only used 3 times in the Bible and it is used only then as a derogatory label given from outsiders to the group of people who were spreading the news of Jesus after His death. The followers of Christ called themselves "Disciples." He goes on to say how using the word disciples is so scary because it is so clearly defined as a follower of Christ. Using the word Christian is so much easier because you can use whatever definition fits you the best. A disciple can't be construed as anything less.
Then, Stanley goes on to share Jesus' last command to his apostles. Some of His last words to them while He was with them, tells them exactly how to behave as His followers, "So now I am giving you a new commandment: Love each other. Just as I have loved you, you should love each other. Your love for one another will prove to the world that you are my disciples.” (John 13:34-35 NLT)
Love is how we show the world that we are His followers. Love is how we teach them about Him. Love is how we bring them in. Love above all else.
So, my word for 2014 is Love.
I have been doing some searching for all of God's words on love. Of course I started off in the obvious 1 Corinthians 13 and God really showed me some new things as I took these well-known verses one by one. He even showed me some very specific things that I am dealing with right now as we build our house.
Today I read 1 Corinthians 14:1a "Love will be your highest goal." I love this since it is my New Year's "Goal" for the year. Above everything else I hope to accomplish, above anything else I want to do, love comes first.
It looks so easy written on a page, but our sinful nature makes it so much harder. So I am journeying on. Trying to find any way I can make the choice to love above all else.
Thursday, October 24, 2013
Bringing Home the "Bacon"
I was blessed enough to be able to attend MomCon 2013 this past weekend which is a 3 day conference for MOPS (Mothers Of Preschoolers) Leaders. What an amazing experience it was, and not only because the keynote speakers included my favorite author of all time, Jen Hatmaker as well as Lysa Terkeurst, Beth Moore and a former 20 year CEO of MOPS, Elisa Morgan. We were surrounded by women who fear the Lord and wanted so badly to serve other moms in their communities and become better mothers. I mean, really? Is there a better group of people to be with?
So, I was inundated with so much inspiring and challenging information from amazing Christian leaders and I just kept thinking, "How in the world am I going to bring home, share and use all of this material with our group?" I tell you, I was overwhelmed with so much "meaty" information, talks that left you inspired, ideas that make you want to jump out of your chair and ways that I want to change the world that my head was spinning! I. Don't. Know. Where. To. Start!
I have been praying for God to show me how to do it; how to pick the pieces that need to be used first, from the ideas I need to store away for later. Praying that He would help me remember all of the information and not just let it get tucked somewhere in my brain as a great weekend. I do not want to forget any piece of what I learned at this conference. I took notes incessantly. I want to share what He showed me and what the speakers had to say. Oh, how I am praying that it will all stay fresh in my mind until He reveals to me what to do with it all. I want Him to show me how to bring this knowledge home with me to use in my community.
And then, I finally took time to open my Bible this week (it has been a little crazy 'round here... bad excuse I know, but such is my life) and this is what I found. Proverbs 5:1-2 "My son, pay attention to my wisdom; listen carefully to my wise counsel. Then you will show discernment, and your lips will express what you've learned." I have been praying for this exact thing this week and He tells me in His Word that He will do it for me. I just have to listen.
Such a direct answer to my prayer. "I will do it for you," is what He is telling me. "Spend time with me. Talk to me. Listen."
Speechless.
So, I was inundated with so much inspiring and challenging information from amazing Christian leaders and I just kept thinking, "How in the world am I going to bring home, share and use all of this material with our group?" I tell you, I was overwhelmed with so much "meaty" information, talks that left you inspired, ideas that make you want to jump out of your chair and ways that I want to change the world that my head was spinning! I. Don't. Know. Where. To. Start!
I have been praying for God to show me how to do it; how to pick the pieces that need to be used first, from the ideas I need to store away for later. Praying that He would help me remember all of the information and not just let it get tucked somewhere in my brain as a great weekend. I do not want to forget any piece of what I learned at this conference. I took notes incessantly. I want to share what He showed me and what the speakers had to say. Oh, how I am praying that it will all stay fresh in my mind until He reveals to me what to do with it all. I want Him to show me how to bring this knowledge home with me to use in my community.
And then, I finally took time to open my Bible this week (it has been a little crazy 'round here... bad excuse I know, but such is my life) and this is what I found. Proverbs 5:1-2 "My son, pay attention to my wisdom; listen carefully to my wise counsel. Then you will show discernment, and your lips will express what you've learned." I have been praying for this exact thing this week and He tells me in His Word that He will do it for me. I just have to listen.
Such a direct answer to my prayer. "I will do it for you," is what He is telling me. "Spend time with me. Talk to me. Listen."
Speechless.
Tuesday, October 8, 2013
Seeking Wisdom
Proverbs 4:7 says "Getting wisdom is the wisest thing you can do." Seems pretty simple and redundant, yes? But I am a firm believer that if God repeats Himself, we had better listen. Of course, He seems to repeat Himself quite frequently to me on certain topics that I have a hard time getting through my thick skull. He finds many ways to do so as well, Bible verses I read, a sermon at church, a devotional that comes in my email or Facebook. So many ways to reach me, and yet it doesn't always sink in.
So, reading on to gain this wisdom to make me wise I am realizing He tells me to seek this and not that, to live this way and not that, but "surprisingly" the direct wisdom I seek, such as how to organize my life when I am living out of boxes in a basement or how to discipline my almost 4-year-old who can't seem to listen to "No" or "Stop" without a huge drama production aren't written in there. Big surprise, right?
But, God knows that is not what we need. We don't need the "easy button." If we had it, we wouldn't need Him.
I often find myself thinking, "I really need to get in touch with so-and-so because I know she has all this discipline stuff down," or "I need to call this person for advice on how to live in your in-laws basement because she had to do it too," instead of falling on my knees and seeking the true wisdom I need.
Now, God does give us mentors and friends with advice and experience to help pass on His wisdom, no doubt, and they are invaluable. But, if I find myself seeking these resources above wisdom from Him, I am starting in the wrong place. God may not give me direct answers or suggestions like my friends can, but God knows my child. He knows my situation and can lead me to what is best for my family. All my friends can do is share their advice and experiences which will definitely vary from mine, so I will need to adjust for my specific situation.
I guess the wisdom I gained today reminds me to seek Him first, not after the fact. Ask Him to show me the answer or the way to go when I initially face the situation and then if that means turning to a friend or mentor for advice as well, that is where I go.
That being said, if anyone has any advice to pass on concerning the aforementioned issues, I am more than open to take them. I have been praying about them (especially the discipline) for quite some time and still have yet to figure it out.
So, reading on to gain this wisdom to make me wise I am realizing He tells me to seek this and not that, to live this way and not that, but "surprisingly" the direct wisdom I seek, such as how to organize my life when I am living out of boxes in a basement or how to discipline my almost 4-year-old who can't seem to listen to "No" or "Stop" without a huge drama production aren't written in there. Big surprise, right?
But, God knows that is not what we need. We don't need the "easy button." If we had it, we wouldn't need Him.
I often find myself thinking, "I really need to get in touch with so-and-so because I know she has all this discipline stuff down," or "I need to call this person for advice on how to live in your in-laws basement because she had to do it too," instead of falling on my knees and seeking the true wisdom I need.
Now, God does give us mentors and friends with advice and experience to help pass on His wisdom, no doubt, and they are invaluable. But, if I find myself seeking these resources above wisdom from Him, I am starting in the wrong place. God may not give me direct answers or suggestions like my friends can, but God knows my child. He knows my situation and can lead me to what is best for my family. All my friends can do is share their advice and experiences which will definitely vary from mine, so I will need to adjust for my specific situation.
I guess the wisdom I gained today reminds me to seek Him first, not after the fact. Ask Him to show me the answer or the way to go when I initially face the situation and then if that means turning to a friend or mentor for advice as well, that is where I go.
That being said, if anyone has any advice to pass on concerning the aforementioned issues, I am more than open to take them. I have been praying about them (especially the discipline) for quite some time and still have yet to figure it out.
Monday, September 30, 2013
What Home, Mommy?
I knew God was leading me to the right book for this period in my life when I started reading Proverbs. Like I stated before, we are currently in a season where everything we once knew is in complete upheaval. Thankfully, nothing drastic or traumatic, just a time of transition and changes for the better.
We sold the only home our children have ever known and are currently living in the basement of my husband's parents and today on our way home from preschool, I told my youngest daughter we would each lunch at home. She asked, "What home, Mommy?" Now, I don't think she was saying this as we have no home, but more asking which house is home. I can completely see how she is confused. We have the "old" house, grandma and grandpa's house, and the "new" house (the one we are building). I have to keep reminding the kids that, right now, our home is grandma and grandpa's house.
Upheaval and confusion.
So, the words of wisdom and reassurance in Proverbs are such a foothold for me right now. A reminder that my true home is always with Christ. That if I seek Him and His wisdom I will always be headed the correct way. 3:23-26a "They [common sense and discernment] will keep you safe on your way and your feet will not stumble. You can go to bed without fear; you will lie down and sleep soundly.... for the Lord is your security."
The Lord is my SECURITY. The LORD is my security. All the consistency I need in a life of changes and new surroundings and situations.
We sold the only home our children have ever known and are currently living in the basement of my husband's parents and today on our way home from preschool, I told my youngest daughter we would each lunch at home. She asked, "What home, Mommy?" Now, I don't think she was saying this as we have no home, but more asking which house is home. I can completely see how she is confused. We have the "old" house, grandma and grandpa's house, and the "new" house (the one we are building). I have to keep reminding the kids that, right now, our home is grandma and grandpa's house.
Upheaval and confusion.
So, the words of wisdom and reassurance in Proverbs are such a foothold for me right now. A reminder that my true home is always with Christ. That if I seek Him and His wisdom I will always be headed the correct way. 3:23-26a "They [common sense and discernment] will keep you safe on your way and your feet will not stumble. You can go to bed without fear; you will lie down and sleep soundly.... for the Lord is your security."
The Lord is my SECURITY. The LORD is my security. All the consistency I need in a life of changes and new surroundings and situations.
Tuesday, September 17, 2013
Relating to Thousands of Years Ago
I have a lot of "Bible Study" books on my plate right now. One of them is "Known and Loved" by Caryn Rivadeneira. It is a devotional through the Psalms and is quite fabulous. I am reading it with my MOPS Steering Team.
The opening is something I have thought many times as I read through the Bible, really anywhere, but I loved how well she put it into words.
"Whether you've read through the Bible many times, never picked it up before, or anywhere in between, you'll find that spending time in the psalms always nourishes us, feeds us. Sometimes in clear-cut, obvious ways, sometimes through the totally unexpected. Especially since these words were written three thousand years ago by people whose lives looked little like our own. And yet, the aches, the longings, the questions, and the worship - all the human experience - remain the same. Remarkable, really."
I find it amazing, really, how much we can actually relate to the people who lived when these God-inspired words were penned. Their lives looked nothing like ours today, but how we feel and experience it, the struggles and joys, remain the same.
It challenges me to look at what I am reading in a different light. To not see the exact scenario, but to think about how I experience something similar in current times. To think more about their thoughts and feelings over the actual events. Its all about what God has to teach me through the lessons learned and feeling felt and how I can relate to the person involved.
And really, this is applicable for the entire Bible, not just the psalms.
Good things to remember.
Wednesday, September 11, 2013
Lifelong Journey
I am finding there is so much to learn on the topic of wisdom itself even before you start gaining more wisdom on other things.
Proverbs is chop full of wisdom, of course, and I am working my way through the 2nd Chapter. Not only have I seen that wisdom is something that I can't just gain, I must continually seek it (vs. 4). It is a gift from God that should be valued as a treasure and will bring me joy (vs. 6, 10). It will save me from evil (vs. 12).
There is so much to learn.
But today what struck me through many of these verses is that I will never arrive. I will never have all the wisdom I could ever gain. There is never an end to this search. I must seek it continually. I must keep checking to make sure I am on the path (vs. 20) to grow in it. I must remain in it (vs. 21) and not be lead astray.
Now, one could find this discouraging, to never have an end to the goal. But I find it exciting. There is always more to learn; always a way to grow. More to find and more to seek. I will never have all the wisdom God has for me to gain, but I can try continually each and every day to get just a little bit closer. I will never run out of things to learn. He will never have a point where He doesn't have something to teach me.
So many new and exciting things wait for me each and every day if I just continue to seek it out through the eyes and the knowledge of the One who created it all.
Proverbs is chop full of wisdom, of course, and I am working my way through the 2nd Chapter. Not only have I seen that wisdom is something that I can't just gain, I must continually seek it (vs. 4). It is a gift from God that should be valued as a treasure and will bring me joy (vs. 6, 10). It will save me from evil (vs. 12).
There is so much to learn.
But today what struck me through many of these verses is that I will never arrive. I will never have all the wisdom I could ever gain. There is never an end to this search. I must seek it continually. I must keep checking to make sure I am on the path (vs. 20) to grow in it. I must remain in it (vs. 21) and not be lead astray.
Now, one could find this discouraging, to never have an end to the goal. But I find it exciting. There is always more to learn; always a way to grow. More to find and more to seek. I will never have all the wisdom God has for me to gain, but I can try continually each and every day to get just a little bit closer. I will never run out of things to learn. He will never have a point where He doesn't have something to teach me.
So many new and exciting things wait for me each and every day if I just continue to seek it out through the eyes and the knowledge of the One who created it all.
Monday, September 2, 2013
Listen and Remember
OK so I realize I already mentioned Proverbs 1:23 in one of my previous posts, but it jumped out at me again this time, too, so I figured I had better pay attention.
"Come and listen to my counsel. I'll share my heart with you and make you wise." Now, this is wisdom speaking, so I am supposed to listen to any wisdom that comes my way. Obviously, the most solid, truthful, tested and tried wisdom comes from God's Words so I think that is where I will start.
Next in this chapter (vs.24 -25) say, "I called you so often, but you wouldn't come. I reached out to you, but you paid no attention. You ignored my advice and rejected the correction I offered." These are the moments you just know that there is a Bible verse you should know to apply to your current situation, or one you would really like to pass on to someone in another type of situation. I always feel so frustrated and upset with myself that I cannot remember the words I need to use or pass on or teach my kids. Now, when you can somewhat think of those verses, it tells you that you have at least been paying a little bit of attention to God's wisdom. But, I am thinking this is a great way for God to say, "Pay attention. Learn and remember what I am saying to you in My Book."
Listen to His counsel. Pay attention. Remember. Three things I need to take to heart.
"Come and listen to my counsel. I'll share my heart with you and make you wise." Now, this is wisdom speaking, so I am supposed to listen to any wisdom that comes my way. Obviously, the most solid, truthful, tested and tried wisdom comes from God's Words so I think that is where I will start.
Next in this chapter (vs.24 -25) say, "I called you so often, but you wouldn't come. I reached out to you, but you paid no attention. You ignored my advice and rejected the correction I offered." These are the moments you just know that there is a Bible verse you should know to apply to your current situation, or one you would really like to pass on to someone in another type of situation. I always feel so frustrated and upset with myself that I cannot remember the words I need to use or pass on or teach my kids. Now, when you can somewhat think of those verses, it tells you that you have at least been paying a little bit of attention to God's wisdom. But, I am thinking this is a great way for God to say, "Pay attention. Learn and remember what I am saying to you in My Book."
Listen to His counsel. Pay attention. Remember. Three things I need to take to heart.
Sunday, September 1, 2013
Who You Talkin' To?
I have been reading through Proverbs over the last month or so. Looking for wisdom, insight and direction. But, I have been in such a hurry to find them, I think I missed most of what is actually there, so I am starting over.
I found myself going through Proverbs finding nuggets to use with my children on wisdom, hard work and discipline. Good stuff. Stuff they need to know and hear. Stuff I need to teach them. But I think in searching for things for my kids, I was missing the stuff for me. How do I teach it to my children if I don't know it myself first?
I love how much they talk about fools in Proverbs. Fools reject wisdom and discipline (1:7), fools are destroyed by their complacency (1:32), and much more to come. And once again it is so easy to lump the "fools" onto someone else because I consider myself a pretty stand-up gal. I love how my footnotes remind me that in fools, they do not mean stupid people, but people who have a character deficiency, many of which I can suffer from at certain times or in mood swings of my life.
God reminds me that in my time with Him, when it is just us hanging out in His Word, He is speaking to me. Not my children. Not some random fool at whom I can point my finger. Me and Him. Read these words and learn these lessons for me. Then, if needed I can pass them on to others. But one cannot teach if one isn't willing to learn.
I found myself going through Proverbs finding nuggets to use with my children on wisdom, hard work and discipline. Good stuff. Stuff they need to know and hear. Stuff I need to teach them. But I think in searching for things for my kids, I was missing the stuff for me. How do I teach it to my children if I don't know it myself first?
I love how much they talk about fools in Proverbs. Fools reject wisdom and discipline (1:7), fools are destroyed by their complacency (1:32), and much more to come. And once again it is so easy to lump the "fools" onto someone else because I consider myself a pretty stand-up gal. I love how my footnotes remind me that in fools, they do not mean stupid people, but people who have a character deficiency, many of which I can suffer from at certain times or in mood swings of my life.
God reminds me that in my time with Him, when it is just us hanging out in His Word, He is speaking to me. Not my children. Not some random fool at whom I can point my finger. Me and Him. Read these words and learn these lessons for me. Then, if needed I can pass them on to others. But one cannot teach if one isn't willing to learn.
Thursday, August 22, 2013
I Can Do Hard
I am been seriously bad at blogging this summer! I have just been lazy. I do my quiet times, but am too lazy to journal, which is sad because that is usually where I am able to process my thoughts and really see what God was saying to me through His Words that I just read. So, consequently, I didn't gain too much from my quiet times this summer. Sad.
But now, I have all my kids in school in the morning so I plan to take full advantage of the time to myself to spend more quality time for my quiet times instead of just sneaking it in when I can! This is a part of this new season of life I think I am going to love! However, I do miss my kids.
Anyway, I have had a rough week. Took my baby to preschool. Been struggling with my 5K times slowing down. Had a really hard conversation with a friend and learned some things I don't know how to process. Can't seem to keep up on housework. Frustrated that I haven't gotten any sub jobs yet (yes, I realize there has only been one week of school so far...). It has just been one of those weeks where I can't seem to get ahead.
So, this conversation with my friend is really what has made my week pretty tough. I have been doing a lot of praying and searching God's Word on how to handle all of it and was so thankful to have my dear friend and mentor help me think through some of it as well.
I learned that someone I value has less than a stellar opinion of my work ethic and my dedication to a program that means a lot to me. I have always felt that this person found me annoying and I was never on the top of their list, but to hear exactly what the issue was really hit me hard.
I have always been one to pour my heart into whatever I do, especially this area because it means so very much to me and feeds my soul in a way that no other thing can. I figured out I value this person's opinion of me so highly because they play a key role in my ability to be able to be involved in this area and because they do such a great job at teaching me how to become better at it.
It is hard for me because I am not exactly sure where this opinion of me came from. I know of one major incident that has occurred of which I tried to explain myself and apologized for. I have prayed that God would show me where these thoughts might stem from and to show me if my dedication was truly in the wrong place (Psalm 139:23-24 Search me, O God, and know my anxious thoughts, see if there is any offensive way in me and lead me to the way of the everlasting.)
I am certain that this person's thoughts of me are not completely unfounded. I am sure I am at fault in the matter and could have handled some situations with more grace. I am certain that some of these thoughts have stemmed from complete misunderstandings on both of our parts as well and somewhat wish I could discuss these things out with them, but am not sure I have the guts to do it (or the ability to do it rationally without crying the whole time). But I am also certain that some of it stems from this person's not fully understanding my situation or remembering exactly what it was like to be in my shoes or ever even knowing. I feel a little robbed of grace myself to some extent.
There is no where to fully place the blame, and I am pretty sure doing so wouldn't do any good. I think my biggest struggle is that I never had the chance to defend or explain myself and that is what keeps eating at my heart.
The first time I sat down to "hash" this out with God, He gave me a ton of verses.
James 1:2-4 "Count it joy, my brothers, when you face trials of many kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing." I have some growing and learning to do through this struggle and I know I will come out better on the other side.
Colossians 3:17 "Whatever you do or say, do it all in the name of the Lord, giving thanks to the Father through Him." I think God was showing me with this verse that I value this person's opinion of me too highly. If God wants to use me, He will. I don't need to try and please someone to have the ability to use my talents for God.
Colossians 3:2 "Think about the things of heaven and not the things of the earth." Focusing on this person's opinion of me will only rob me of the joy I have in Him and in my good relationships with so many others.
1 Peter 1:13 "Therefore, preparing your minds for action and being sober-minded, set your hope fully on the grace that will be brought to you at the revelation of Jesus Christ." God has given me all the grace I need and even an abundance. I need to make sure to extend that grace to others.
Romans 12:1-2 "And so, dear brothers, I plead with you to give your bodies to God because of all He has done for you. Let them be a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing in His sight. Do not conform to the patterns of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will come to know God's will for you, His pleasing and perfect will." I need to make sure I have my heart in the right place. I need to self-check my intentions, emotions, and actions. They need to start only with Him. I can't control anyone else, their opinion of me or my work ethic. I need to be sure I know His will for me and focus on that. I know where my heart is, and so does He. That is all that matters.
Music is God's greatest way at getting through my head and I was so thankful when He gave me two songs at the end of a good (but slower than I wanted it to be) run the other day where I spent the entire 3 miles hashing through all of these things in my head. "I Will Praise You in the Storm" Yes, this little setback is more like a rain shower than a storm, but I still need to praise Him through all of it. And "He's Not Done With Me Yet". Like I said, I do hold fault in this situation and am sure that God will help perfect me through what I am learning.
But now, I have all my kids in school in the morning so I plan to take full advantage of the time to myself to spend more quality time for my quiet times instead of just sneaking it in when I can! This is a part of this new season of life I think I am going to love! However, I do miss my kids.
Anyway, I have had a rough week. Took my baby to preschool. Been struggling with my 5K times slowing down. Had a really hard conversation with a friend and learned some things I don't know how to process. Can't seem to keep up on housework. Frustrated that I haven't gotten any sub jobs yet (yes, I realize there has only been one week of school so far...). It has just been one of those weeks where I can't seem to get ahead.
So, this conversation with my friend is really what has made my week pretty tough. I have been doing a lot of praying and searching God's Word on how to handle all of it and was so thankful to have my dear friend and mentor help me think through some of it as well.
I learned that someone I value has less than a stellar opinion of my work ethic and my dedication to a program that means a lot to me. I have always felt that this person found me annoying and I was never on the top of their list, but to hear exactly what the issue was really hit me hard.
I have always been one to pour my heart into whatever I do, especially this area because it means so very much to me and feeds my soul in a way that no other thing can. I figured out I value this person's opinion of me so highly because they play a key role in my ability to be able to be involved in this area and because they do such a great job at teaching me how to become better at it.
It is hard for me because I am not exactly sure where this opinion of me came from. I know of one major incident that has occurred of which I tried to explain myself and apologized for. I have prayed that God would show me where these thoughts might stem from and to show me if my dedication was truly in the wrong place (Psalm 139:23-24 Search me, O God, and know my anxious thoughts, see if there is any offensive way in me and lead me to the way of the everlasting.)
I am certain that this person's thoughts of me are not completely unfounded. I am sure I am at fault in the matter and could have handled some situations with more grace. I am certain that some of these thoughts have stemmed from complete misunderstandings on both of our parts as well and somewhat wish I could discuss these things out with them, but am not sure I have the guts to do it (or the ability to do it rationally without crying the whole time). But I am also certain that some of it stems from this person's not fully understanding my situation or remembering exactly what it was like to be in my shoes or ever even knowing. I feel a little robbed of grace myself to some extent.
There is no where to fully place the blame, and I am pretty sure doing so wouldn't do any good. I think my biggest struggle is that I never had the chance to defend or explain myself and that is what keeps eating at my heart.
The first time I sat down to "hash" this out with God, He gave me a ton of verses.
James 1:2-4 "Count it joy, my brothers, when you face trials of many kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing." I have some growing and learning to do through this struggle and I know I will come out better on the other side.
Colossians 3:17 "Whatever you do or say, do it all in the name of the Lord, giving thanks to the Father through Him." I think God was showing me with this verse that I value this person's opinion of me too highly. If God wants to use me, He will. I don't need to try and please someone to have the ability to use my talents for God.
Colossians 3:2 "Think about the things of heaven and not the things of the earth." Focusing on this person's opinion of me will only rob me of the joy I have in Him and in my good relationships with so many others.
1 Peter 1:13 "Therefore, preparing your minds for action and being sober-minded, set your hope fully on the grace that will be brought to you at the revelation of Jesus Christ." God has given me all the grace I need and even an abundance. I need to make sure to extend that grace to others.
Romans 12:1-2 "And so, dear brothers, I plead with you to give your bodies to God because of all He has done for you. Let them be a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing in His sight. Do not conform to the patterns of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will come to know God's will for you, His pleasing and perfect will." I need to make sure I have my heart in the right place. I need to self-check my intentions, emotions, and actions. They need to start only with Him. I can't control anyone else, their opinion of me or my work ethic. I need to be sure I know His will for me and focus on that. I know where my heart is, and so does He. That is all that matters.
Music is God's greatest way at getting through my head and I was so thankful when He gave me two songs at the end of a good (but slower than I wanted it to be) run the other day where I spent the entire 3 miles hashing through all of these things in my head. "I Will Praise You in the Storm" Yes, this little setback is more like a rain shower than a storm, but I still need to praise Him through all of it. And "He's Not Done With Me Yet". Like I said, I do hold fault in this situation and am sure that God will help perfect me through what I am learning.
Friday, August 2, 2013
Just When I Need The Answer
Well, its been summer, and I have been on a blogging hiatus obviously. Thankfully, I have been reading my Bible more often than I have been blogging, but still not near as much as I should.
I decided I was losing motivation in reading due to the brain power it took to read through Revelations, so I decided to change gears for a while and finish the second half of Revelation at another time.
We are moving into a period of unknowns for our family right now. We just sold our house, with plans to build a new one starting at the beginning of September. Problem is, the new one won't be done until March or so and we have to be out of this one by the end of September. We are unsure where we are going.
Secondly, I have 1 1/2 more weeks of being a daycare provider a few days a week and am going back to substitute teaching. I am super sad to lose the kiddos I love so much, but super excited to get back into subbing. I really loved it the year I did it when I was pregnant with my oldest. But, that leaves an unknown of how busy I will stay and the income I will earn. It is all dependent on the number of days I get called.
Thirdly, I will have all three kids in school at some part of the day this year. My oldest in 2nd grade, middle one starts all day kindergarten and my baby will be in preschool for 4 mornings a week. That will be a lot for this mama to take. Thankfully, I have someone great to take care of my baby after preschool on days that I am working so that helps a ton, but it is a new thing for me as well. Putting my kids in child care instead of being the one providing the care will be an adjustment.
Anyway, with all of these unknowns and the faith it will take to get through it all without pulling my hair out and bawling my eyes out is going to be monumental. I am going to need as much time in His Word as I can muster and I am going to need His wisdom to make the right choices. So, He led me to Proverbs: the book of wisdom.
Already, He is encouraging me to stay more consistent with my quiet times with Him. 1:23 says "Come and listen to my counsel. I'll share my heart with you and make you wise." 2:1-5 says, "My child, listen to what I say, and treasure my commands. Tune your ears to wisdom, and concentrate on understanding. Cry out for insight, and ask for understanding, Search for them as you would for silver; seek them like hidden treasures. Then you will understand what it means to fear the Lord and you will gain the knowledge of God."
Exactly what I needed to hear. Encouragement to be in His words and wisdom every day and moment I can and the reassurance that He will guide me and give me His wisdom in all the unknowns that lie ahead.
God. Is. Good!
I decided I was losing motivation in reading due to the brain power it took to read through Revelations, so I decided to change gears for a while and finish the second half of Revelation at another time.
We are moving into a period of unknowns for our family right now. We just sold our house, with plans to build a new one starting at the beginning of September. Problem is, the new one won't be done until March or so and we have to be out of this one by the end of September. We are unsure where we are going.
Secondly, I have 1 1/2 more weeks of being a daycare provider a few days a week and am going back to substitute teaching. I am super sad to lose the kiddos I love so much, but super excited to get back into subbing. I really loved it the year I did it when I was pregnant with my oldest. But, that leaves an unknown of how busy I will stay and the income I will earn. It is all dependent on the number of days I get called.
Thirdly, I will have all three kids in school at some part of the day this year. My oldest in 2nd grade, middle one starts all day kindergarten and my baby will be in preschool for 4 mornings a week. That will be a lot for this mama to take. Thankfully, I have someone great to take care of my baby after preschool on days that I am working so that helps a ton, but it is a new thing for me as well. Putting my kids in child care instead of being the one providing the care will be an adjustment.
Anyway, with all of these unknowns and the faith it will take to get through it all without pulling my hair out and bawling my eyes out is going to be monumental. I am going to need as much time in His Word as I can muster and I am going to need His wisdom to make the right choices. So, He led me to Proverbs: the book of wisdom.
Already, He is encouraging me to stay more consistent with my quiet times with Him. 1:23 says "Come and listen to my counsel. I'll share my heart with you and make you wise." 2:1-5 says, "My child, listen to what I say, and treasure my commands. Tune your ears to wisdom, and concentrate on understanding. Cry out for insight, and ask for understanding, Search for them as you would for silver; seek them like hidden treasures. Then you will understand what it means to fear the Lord and you will gain the knowledge of God."
Exactly what I needed to hear. Encouragement to be in His words and wisdom every day and moment I can and the reassurance that He will guide me and give me His wisdom in all the unknowns that lie ahead.
God. Is. Good!
Wednesday, June 19, 2013
Not So Far From Stupid
Its one of those things that you look at from the outside and go, "Seriously? How in the world do they not see how stupid they look? or how stupid they are being?" Yes, I realize I could find a nicer word to use, but when it comes right down to it, that's just what it is. Stupid. We see things like it all the time out and about in this crazy world we live in. People who are about to wipe out because they aren't paying attention. People who make scenes in public places. People who make questionable clothing choices. And so on.
This thought came upon me again while reading on through Revelation and the seven trumpets. You know, the plagues and all that yucky stuff. Blood and locusts and falling stars and burning things. Scary stuff. Serious stuff. Stuff that makes me think, "I am so glad I will not be around for this!"
At the end of the Sixth Trumpet John tells us, "The people who did not die in these plagues still refused to repent of their evil deeds and turn to God." (Rev. 9:20) It goes on to list their many, terrible sins, and my mind immediately went, "Seriously? How in the world do they no see how stupid they are? How did they miss these obvious signs from God. Could it be any more 'in their face'?"
But then the Holy Spirit threw in one of its "stop being so high and mighty on yourself" thoughts in my head.
It is so easy to judge from the outside. "Why do people continue to smoke? Don't they know it can kill them?" "Why is she wearing that shirt that is obviously two sizes too small for her?" "How can you not see God the seven trumpets' plagues? Isn't it pretty obvious how powerful He is?"
We see these things and make our quick judgments, but fail to stop and think about other factors that might figure into the big picture. Maybe someone they admired got them hooked on nicotine and now they don't have the resources or know how to kick the highly addictive habit? Maybe she is a single mom who has put on some weight due to the high stress of supporting her family on her own and cannot afford to buy herself new clothes because her kids need them more?
I can't really come up with a good explanation for the people who don't see God, but it has to be there. And really, I know I have things that are pretty obvious, in-my-face, things that I know I should change in my life too. But it is hard. It is so hard to change things that you are used to doing. It is hard to stop things that aren't good for you but you enjoy them anyway.
The Holy Spirit opened my eyes. I have things that I know I should change, things I pray about changing, things I want to change, but I continue on down the same road without changing them because the change is too hard or inconvenient, or it admits a weakness or failure. Change that we know is best, but don't really want, is hard.
So, I find myself thinking, "I'm not that far from those stupid people who went through those plagues and still did not turn to God. I'm just stupid in another way."
We all fall short of the glory of God. (Rom 3:23)
This thought came upon me again while reading on through Revelation and the seven trumpets. You know, the plagues and all that yucky stuff. Blood and locusts and falling stars and burning things. Scary stuff. Serious stuff. Stuff that makes me think, "I am so glad I will not be around for this!"
At the end of the Sixth Trumpet John tells us, "The people who did not die in these plagues still refused to repent of their evil deeds and turn to God." (Rev. 9:20) It goes on to list their many, terrible sins, and my mind immediately went, "Seriously? How in the world do they no see how stupid they are? How did they miss these obvious signs from God. Could it be any more 'in their face'?"
But then the Holy Spirit threw in one of its "stop being so high and mighty on yourself" thoughts in my head.
It is so easy to judge from the outside. "Why do people continue to smoke? Don't they know it can kill them?" "Why is she wearing that shirt that is obviously two sizes too small for her?" "How can you not see God the seven trumpets' plagues? Isn't it pretty obvious how powerful He is?"
We see these things and make our quick judgments, but fail to stop and think about other factors that might figure into the big picture. Maybe someone they admired got them hooked on nicotine and now they don't have the resources or know how to kick the highly addictive habit? Maybe she is a single mom who has put on some weight due to the high stress of supporting her family on her own and cannot afford to buy herself new clothes because her kids need them more?
I can't really come up with a good explanation for the people who don't see God, but it has to be there. And really, I know I have things that are pretty obvious, in-my-face, things that I know I should change in my life too. But it is hard. It is so hard to change things that you are used to doing. It is hard to stop things that aren't good for you but you enjoy them anyway.
The Holy Spirit opened my eyes. I have things that I know I should change, things I pray about changing, things I want to change, but I continue on down the same road without changing them because the change is too hard or inconvenient, or it admits a weakness or failure. Change that we know is best, but don't really want, is hard.
So, I find myself thinking, "I'm not that far from those stupid people who went through those plagues and still did not turn to God. I'm just stupid in another way."
We all fall short of the glory of God. (Rom 3:23)
Wednesday, June 5, 2013
Mama's Mouth
I'm struggling here, folks. Grumpiness has taken over.
Now, I have never been a super patient, always using soft tones, tolerant type of mom. But lately things are getting a little ugly.
How can I tell? I hear it in my kids. Ouch.
Yesterday, I sent a crew of them out on a scavenger hunt I had put together for them (Now, don't be impressed by this little activity. It took all of 3 minutes to write down, explain and gather materials for. All with the intention that they would be outside, occupied, away from me for at least half an hour). It was a nice day so the doors and windows were open and I could hear most of their conversations and such. All of a sudden I hear my oldest hollering at his sister and one of my daycare girls about how they weren't doing it the right way.
People, I tell you, he sounded just like me when I get short with my kids. Lord, have mercy, it put a sword through my heart to have to go stop him and have a little conversation with him about why he shouldn't do that. Talk about feeling like a hypocrite. Cripes!
And today, we spent a long day at the YMCA for my daughter's gymnastics classes, so by the time we got home an hour past nap time, this mama was once again a growling bear, completely oblivious to the revelation I had just been given the day before.
I sat down and read a few verses in Revelation, when God started convicting me of my behavior once again. So I decided to change gears for a bit and see what He had to tell me about yelling.
Knife. Pain. Need a change.
Luke 17:2 tells us "It would be better for him if a millstone were hung around his neck and he were cast into the sea than that he should cause one of these little ones to sin" and I am falling down that slippery slope. Who cares about me right now, look at the junk I am teaching my kids and the ways I am causing them to slide as well.
My temper is short, my words are harsh, I am being selfish with my time and activities. I have become a complacent mama with a mean mouth and I am starting to hear it coming from my littles as well.
While, I might be slightly harsh on myself, I can't keep making excuses. I need a change or my kids are going to remember nothing about their childhood except for the fact that mom was super fun and nice when things were good and easy, but when they weren't you better take cover.
I have known these facts for long enough. I was raised by a person just like this. It is still how I see her today. While I love her to death and am so very thankful for the sacrifices she made to raise me, she is very much a two sided person. Super fun and sweet when the mood is right, but when it isn't, just steer clear. I don't want to be this way. Please don't let me be this way. I don't want that for my kids.
I have wanted to change forever, but I just can't seem to get it done. I do OK for a few days, but then seem to end up down the same path. I can't do it.
I feel like the words to this song "Worn" (yes, another song, bear with me) are just what my heart is saying.
I know I need
To lift my eyes up
But I'm too weak
Life just won't let up
And I know that You can give me rest
So I cry out with all that I have left
My prayers are wearing thin
I'm worn
Even before the day begins
I'm worn
I've lost my will to fight
I'm worn
So Heaven come and flood my eyes
Let me see redemption win
Let me know the struggle ends
That You can mend a heart that's frail and torn
I wanna know a song can rise
From the ashes of a broken life
And all that's dead inside can be reborn
‘Cause I'm worn
I'm too weak, too stuck in my ways to make this change. It is just the same things, over and over again. My temper snaps, my patience disappears and mean, mouthy mama, rears her ugly head. I can't do it.
But God can.
I am going to use His words. I am going to plaster all the verses I found in my "yelling" search around my house to remind myself that God will get me through this. I can discipline my kids without shouting at them. I can control a situation without getting out of control. My kids will listen to me even if I am not yelling if I un-train them to only listen when I do. God can train me.
So. Very. Hard. But I must get better. I don't want to be that mom.
Will you please pray for me? I'll try to keep you updated on how things are going.
Here are some of the verses I found:
Proverbs 31:26
When she speaks her words are wise and she gives instructions with kindness.
Proverbs 15:1
A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.
Ephesians 4:29
Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.
Ephesians 4:15
Rather, speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ,
Now, I have never been a super patient, always using soft tones, tolerant type of mom. But lately things are getting a little ugly.
How can I tell? I hear it in my kids. Ouch.
Yesterday, I sent a crew of them out on a scavenger hunt I had put together for them (Now, don't be impressed by this little activity. It took all of 3 minutes to write down, explain and gather materials for. All with the intention that they would be outside, occupied, away from me for at least half an hour). It was a nice day so the doors and windows were open and I could hear most of their conversations and such. All of a sudden I hear my oldest hollering at his sister and one of my daycare girls about how they weren't doing it the right way.
People, I tell you, he sounded just like me when I get short with my kids. Lord, have mercy, it put a sword through my heart to have to go stop him and have a little conversation with him about why he shouldn't do that. Talk about feeling like a hypocrite. Cripes!
And today, we spent a long day at the YMCA for my daughter's gymnastics classes, so by the time we got home an hour past nap time, this mama was once again a growling bear, completely oblivious to the revelation I had just been given the day before.
I sat down and read a few verses in Revelation, when God started convicting me of my behavior once again. So I decided to change gears for a bit and see what He had to tell me about yelling.
Knife. Pain. Need a change.
Luke 17:2 tells us "It would be better for him if a millstone were hung around his neck and he were cast into the sea than that he should cause one of these little ones to sin" and I am falling down that slippery slope. Who cares about me right now, look at the junk I am teaching my kids and the ways I am causing them to slide as well.
My temper is short, my words are harsh, I am being selfish with my time and activities. I have become a complacent mama with a mean mouth and I am starting to hear it coming from my littles as well.
While, I might be slightly harsh on myself, I can't keep making excuses. I need a change or my kids are going to remember nothing about their childhood except for the fact that mom was super fun and nice when things were good and easy, but when they weren't you better take cover.
I have known these facts for long enough. I was raised by a person just like this. It is still how I see her today. While I love her to death and am so very thankful for the sacrifices she made to raise me, she is very much a two sided person. Super fun and sweet when the mood is right, but when it isn't, just steer clear. I don't want to be this way. Please don't let me be this way. I don't want that for my kids.
I have wanted to change forever, but I just can't seem to get it done. I do OK for a few days, but then seem to end up down the same path. I can't do it.
I feel like the words to this song "Worn" (yes, another song, bear with me) are just what my heart is saying.
I know I need
To lift my eyes up
But I'm too weak
Life just won't let up
And I know that You can give me rest
So I cry out with all that I have left
My prayers are wearing thin
I'm worn
Even before the day begins
I'm worn
I've lost my will to fight
I'm worn
So Heaven come and flood my eyes
Let me see redemption win
Let me know the struggle ends
That You can mend a heart that's frail and torn
I wanna know a song can rise
From the ashes of a broken life
And all that's dead inside can be reborn
‘Cause I'm worn
I'm too weak, too stuck in my ways to make this change. It is just the same things, over and over again. My temper snaps, my patience disappears and mean, mouthy mama, rears her ugly head. I can't do it.
But God can.
I am going to use His words. I am going to plaster all the verses I found in my "yelling" search around my house to remind myself that God will get me through this. I can discipline my kids without shouting at them. I can control a situation without getting out of control. My kids will listen to me even if I am not yelling if I un-train them to only listen when I do. God can train me.
So. Very. Hard. But I must get better. I don't want to be that mom.
Will you please pray for me? I'll try to keep you updated on how things are going.
Here are some of the verses I found:
Proverbs 31:26
When she speaks her words are wise and she gives instructions with kindness.
Proverbs 15:1
A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.
Ephesians 4:29
Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.
Ephesians 4:15
Rather, speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ,
Tuesday, June 4, 2013
Sealed
Not many people probably think of Stevie Wonder when reading though Revelation, but chapter 6 and the beginning of 7 had me singing his 1970s hit "Signed, Sealed, Delivered." If you haven't figured out by now, I am a music person, so music is the best way to get through my thick skull.
So, as I hummed the one line of the song I knew and I read all about the first six seals on the scroll and the 4 horsemen, the angels, the judgement, and the earth shaking, I realized the song had more to do with what I was reading than I originally thought.
OK, not so much the apocalypse part of it for me, but chapter seven goes on to talk about how those who belong to Christ will be sealed so that they are protected. It made me wonder what the rest of the words to the song were, so I looked them up. The first two stanzas aren't really good with my analogy so I started at the first chorus. (You'll have to trade the "baby" and "girl" for "Lord," but other than that it seems to work well.)
Here I am baby
So, as I hummed the one line of the song I knew and I read all about the first six seals on the scroll and the 4 horsemen, the angels, the judgement, and the earth shaking, I realized the song had more to do with what I was reading than I originally thought.
OK, not so much the apocalypse part of it for me, but chapter seven goes on to talk about how those who belong to Christ will be sealed so that they are protected. It made me wonder what the rest of the words to the song were, so I looked them up. The first two stanzas aren't really good with my analogy so I started at the first chorus. (You'll have to trade the "baby" and "girl" for "Lord," but other than that it seems to work well.)
Here I am baby
Signed, Sealed, Delivered, I'm yours
(You got my future in your hands)
Here I am baby
Signed, Sealed, Delivered, I'm yours
(You got my future in your hands)
I've done a lot of foolish things
That I really didn't mean, didn't I?
Seen a lot of things in this old world
When I touch them, they mean nothing, girl
Oo, baby, here I am, signed, sealed, delivered, I'm yours!
Oowee baby, you set my soul on fire
That's why I know you're my heart's only desire
Now to explain, because you might be a little confused as to how in the world I got to this point.
Anyway, reading through all of these seals just had me singing the song since I was reading the word over and over. But, really, I am signed; into his book of life. I have accepted Him as my savior and He wrote my name down for eternity. He has sealed me as one of His followers and I will be protected froon the day of judgement. I will be delivered to Him into eternity when He comes back for me or He takes me to be with Him.
This song works because He does hold my future, I want my soul to be on fire for Him, I want Him to be my heart's desire, and the things of this world do not pale in comparison to Him. I want to wear His seal proudly so that I will be delivered someday into eternity.
Monday, June 3, 2013
When God Speaks
It happens more often than you'd think. You know, those times when God gives you a direct and, actually, audible answer to what you have been praying for or working on?
One of those moments about brought me to my knees last night, and it certainly made my neighbors look at me a little weird.
I had just finished running. I have been working on my 5K times lately. I am trying to get it down below 27 minutes and it seems as if the best I can do is 27:15. Last night I was just certain I would make it to my goal when I looked at my watch at mile 3, only .1 left to go, and only had 9 seconds or less to sprint it in order to make my goal. Well, I am not Jackie Joyner-Kersee, so there was no way that was happening. I finished with a even worse time of 27:24. It would have been a bit faster but I kind of gave up the last 30 meters and just jogged it to the end because I knew I wasn't going to beat my time anyway.
I was pouting and kicking myself in my thoughts the last few meters of my run with things like, "I'm just not cut out for this stuff," "Why do I push myself this hard when it doesn't do any good?" and "Ugh, this sucks. Why bother?"
While thinking all these 'lovely' thoughts to myself, "The Voice of Truth" started playing on my iPod. I didn't hear the first part of it because I was too busy pouting and feeling sorry for myself. But the second that I reached my 3.1 mile mark and stopped my watch the words coming through my earbuds stopped me in my tracks. The amazing voices of Casting Crowns rang through to my very soul as I heard them relay a message straight from God.
"The waves are calling out my name and they laugh at me.
Reminding me of all the times I've tried before and failed.
The waves they keep on telling me
Time and time again. 'Boy, you'll never win!'
"You'll never win"
But the voice of truth tells me a different story
And the voice of truth says "Do not be afraid!"
And the voice of truth says "This is for My glory"
Out of all the voices calling out to me
I will choose to listen and believe the voice of truth"
I was telling myself I'd never win and reminding myself of all the times I had failed. But God showed me this and told me to stop. He told me to listen to Him and focus on Him rather than myself, to do it for His glory, not mine.
I will choose to listen to His voice. I will choose to believe Him. I will choose to glorify Him. This needs to be my focus, not a clock I am trying to beat so that I can look like a better runner.
One of those moments about brought me to my knees last night, and it certainly made my neighbors look at me a little weird.
I had just finished running. I have been working on my 5K times lately. I am trying to get it down below 27 minutes and it seems as if the best I can do is 27:15. Last night I was just certain I would make it to my goal when I looked at my watch at mile 3, only .1 left to go, and only had 9 seconds or less to sprint it in order to make my goal. Well, I am not Jackie Joyner-Kersee, so there was no way that was happening. I finished with a even worse time of 27:24. It would have been a bit faster but I kind of gave up the last 30 meters and just jogged it to the end because I knew I wasn't going to beat my time anyway.
I was pouting and kicking myself in my thoughts the last few meters of my run with things like, "I'm just not cut out for this stuff," "Why do I push myself this hard when it doesn't do any good?" and "Ugh, this sucks. Why bother?"
While thinking all these 'lovely' thoughts to myself, "The Voice of Truth" started playing on my iPod. I didn't hear the first part of it because I was too busy pouting and feeling sorry for myself. But the second that I reached my 3.1 mile mark and stopped my watch the words coming through my earbuds stopped me in my tracks. The amazing voices of Casting Crowns rang through to my very soul as I heard them relay a message straight from God.
"The waves are calling out my name and they laugh at me.
Reminding me of all the times I've tried before and failed.
The waves they keep on telling me
Time and time again. 'Boy, you'll never win!'
"You'll never win"
But the voice of truth tells me a different story
And the voice of truth says "Do not be afraid!"
And the voice of truth says "This is for My glory"
Out of all the voices calling out to me
I will choose to listen and believe the voice of truth"
I was telling myself I'd never win and reminding myself of all the times I had failed. But God showed me this and told me to stop. He told me to listen to Him and focus on Him rather than myself, to do it for His glory, not mine.
I will choose to listen to His voice. I will choose to believe Him. I will choose to glorify Him. This needs to be my focus, not a clock I am trying to beat so that I can look like a better runner.
Thursday, May 30, 2013
The Lion and The Lamb
It is one of those "churchy" things. We talk about the Lion and the Lamb. I wonder how many people really know what it actually means?
Most people know why we use the the Lamb analogy for Jesus as Him being the sacrificial Lamb, but I'm not sure the Lion part is as far spread. From what I gather, the Lion part comes in as Christ becomes our protector, showing his power and authority. Christ will become our Lion in these last of days that John is looking into here in Revelation.
I really like how when (Rev 5:5) John is told to look at the Lion, he turns and sees the Lamb. One in the same. And, really, those are two characteristics that only Christ can pull off in one body.
So, no real deep thoughts, but I love to just sit and think about how my Jesus does both of these things for me so well. He has it all covered and that is so reassuring.
Most people know why we use the the Lamb analogy for Jesus as Him being the sacrificial Lamb, but I'm not sure the Lion part is as far spread. From what I gather, the Lion part comes in as Christ becomes our protector, showing his power and authority. Christ will become our Lion in these last of days that John is looking into here in Revelation.
I really like how when (Rev 5:5) John is told to look at the Lion, he turns and sees the Lamb. One in the same. And, really, those are two characteristics that only Christ can pull off in one body.
So, no real deep thoughts, but I love to just sit and think about how my Jesus does both of these things for me so well. He has it all covered and that is so reassuring.
Monday, May 20, 2013
What I Learned from the Seven Churches
I have been on another blogging hiatus lately. Not sure what my deal is. I have been getting my reading in pretty regularly and God has given me some good things to think on. I just haven't felt like blogging it out. Lazy much? Guilty.
Anyway, I finished reading through what Jesus shares with John about the seven churches in Asia and really thought on a few key themes through all of them.
1. We all struggle with staying strong in the faith in some seasons of life in some way, shape or form. It looked different in the each of the churches Christ addressed (losing love, tolerating compromise and immorality, being lukewarm, etc.), but they were all struggles and each of which we can still easily face today.
2. When we fall away, Christ does not turn his back on us but desperately wants us to return wholeheartedly to His love and faithfulness. He forgives us and calls us to return to His side.
3. Those who stay strong in the faith will be greatly rewarded in heaven and He notices each and every battle we fight for Him no matter how big or small. He calls us to stay faithful and to continue to fight and promises the return for our love and trust in His plan will be more than we can imagine.
I was kind of kicking myself for being so lazy and not blogging more frequently as I read these verses and chapters, but now that I look back, I wonder if I would have found these very important similarities had I been trying to see each church individually? Sometimes God teaches us great things even when we aren't feeling very teachable.
Anyway, I finished reading through what Jesus shares with John about the seven churches in Asia and really thought on a few key themes through all of them.
1. We all struggle with staying strong in the faith in some seasons of life in some way, shape or form. It looked different in the each of the churches Christ addressed (losing love, tolerating compromise and immorality, being lukewarm, etc.), but they were all struggles and each of which we can still easily face today.
2. When we fall away, Christ does not turn his back on us but desperately wants us to return wholeheartedly to His love and faithfulness. He forgives us and calls us to return to His side.
3. Those who stay strong in the faith will be greatly rewarded in heaven and He notices each and every battle we fight for Him no matter how big or small. He calls us to stay faithful and to continue to fight and promises the return for our love and trust in His plan will be more than we can imagine.
I was kind of kicking myself for being so lazy and not blogging more frequently as I read these verses and chapters, but now that I look back, I wonder if I would have found these very important similarities had I been trying to see each church individually? Sometimes God teaches us great things even when we aren't feeling very teachable.
Monday, April 29, 2013
Losing the Love
I am plugging along in Revelation. While I haven't had a bunch to write on in the last few days it has been nice to go through slowly, a few verses at a time and really take it all in on my own. So far, so good.
The last couple days I have been reading on the first church Jesus talks to John about. One of the seven gold lampstands. The church in Ephesus. While Christ has many good things to say about the church and its followers in Ephesus, he has one complaint as well; they have lost their first love.
It kind of made me think about marriage. You know, getting out of that honeymoon stage. At first it is all bliss and kisses and googley eyes and all that mushy stuff and then that passes and it is just life. Sure, you still love each other, but some of the excitement has waned and life just takes over. It takes more work to keep the excitement alive.
I think that is what is happening here in Ephesus. At first they were all "Gung-ho" excited about the forgiveness and hope and love that Christ gives. They were filled to the brim with wanting to share it and pass that love around, and then life continued and the enthusiasm dulled.
The thing is, with Christ's love we can't lose our enthusiasm. It is something we must always be so thrilled about having that it seeps out of us. It takes work, just like it does to keep the love alive in a a marriage, but both are completely worth it.
What are some ways you work to keep your excitement alive in your relationship with Christ?
The last couple days I have been reading on the first church Jesus talks to John about. One of the seven gold lampstands. The church in Ephesus. While Christ has many good things to say about the church and its followers in Ephesus, he has one complaint as well; they have lost their first love.
It kind of made me think about marriage. You know, getting out of that honeymoon stage. At first it is all bliss and kisses and googley eyes and all that mushy stuff and then that passes and it is just life. Sure, you still love each other, but some of the excitement has waned and life just takes over. It takes more work to keep the excitement alive.
I think that is what is happening here in Ephesus. At first they were all "Gung-ho" excited about the forgiveness and hope and love that Christ gives. They were filled to the brim with wanting to share it and pass that love around, and then life continued and the enthusiasm dulled.
The thing is, with Christ's love we can't lose our enthusiasm. It is something we must always be so thrilled about having that it seeps out of us. It takes work, just like it does to keep the love alive in a a marriage, but both are completely worth it.
What are some ways you work to keep your excitement alive in your relationship with Christ?
Wednesday, April 17, 2013
Repainting the Mental Picture
When I picture Jesus in my thoughts I see a gentle man with soft eyes and hands, brown flowing hair, robes for his clothes and sandals on his feet. I see what I have seen portrayed in hundreds of children's Bibles and books and paintings of the Last Supper and even on a crucifix.
But, that was Jesus when he lived here on earth as a man. While reading Revelation today, John described what Jesus looks like in His heavenly form. Something, I can't even quite grasp. And yet, when I think of all the word- illustrations John includes, I still see my gentle, loving Lord.
It is hard to re-evaluate what you have had stuck in your head since childhood, but it is true. When we get to meet Him face to face, I am guessing He will not look like the man He was here on earth. He is God. John describes a man with white-like-snow hair, a long robe with a golden sash, His eyes as bright as fire flames, and His feet like polished bronze. Definitely not the soft-skinned, gentle-eyed and robed man I envision on a daily basis.
Secondly, it says that when He spoke his voice thundered like mighty ocean waves. Yet another thing that doesn't match my mental perception. Again, I hardly ever think of Christ raising His voice (except maybe that time he overturned all the tables in the temple courts). And, yes, He may not be raising His voice, but mighty ocean waves are far from soft-spoken in my book.
The description of his mouth backs this up as well. A sharp two-edged sword is used to depict what I understand as His tongue. Which is a perfect picture of Hebrews 4:12 "For the word of God is alive and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart."
I think it is time I repaint the image in my head of Christ. He has changed. He no longer lives in His earthly body. He is God and does not look like man. I am going to try and carry this version of Him in my mind as I continue through the book of Revelation. What a mighty and powerful Lord we have.
But, that was Jesus when he lived here on earth as a man. While reading Revelation today, John described what Jesus looks like in His heavenly form. Something, I can't even quite grasp. And yet, when I think of all the word- illustrations John includes, I still see my gentle, loving Lord.
It is hard to re-evaluate what you have had stuck in your head since childhood, but it is true. When we get to meet Him face to face, I am guessing He will not look like the man He was here on earth. He is God. John describes a man with white-like-snow hair, a long robe with a golden sash, His eyes as bright as fire flames, and His feet like polished bronze. Definitely not the soft-skinned, gentle-eyed and robed man I envision on a daily basis.
Secondly, it says that when He spoke his voice thundered like mighty ocean waves. Yet another thing that doesn't match my mental perception. Again, I hardly ever think of Christ raising His voice (except maybe that time he overturned all the tables in the temple courts). And, yes, He may not be raising His voice, but mighty ocean waves are far from soft-spoken in my book.
The description of his mouth backs this up as well. A sharp two-edged sword is used to depict what I understand as His tongue. Which is a perfect picture of Hebrews 4:12 "For the word of God is alive and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart."
I think it is time I repaint the image in my head of Christ. He has changed. He no longer lives in His earthly body. He is God and does not look like man. I am going to try and carry this version of Him in my mind as I continue through the book of Revelation. What a mighty and powerful Lord we have.
Monday, April 15, 2013
That About Sums it Up
God is indescribable, really. There isn't a way you can really put His power and glory and might and love and everything else into words. But I do have to say that Revelation 1:8 really does a pretty decent job and I think it is one that I need to remind myself of every day.
"'I am the Alpha and the Omega - the beginning and the end,' says the Lord God. 'I am the one who is, who always was, and who is still to come - the Almighty One.'"
That He is and I am so thankful. I also learned that Alpha and Omega are the first and last letters of the Greek alphabet, hence the beginning and the end. Sadly, I never knew that before but I am sure glad I do now. I love learning when I am in the Bible.
Reminding yourself of these facts in any situation is sure to make you breathe easier.
"'I am the Alpha and the Omega - the beginning and the end,' says the Lord God. 'I am the one who is, who always was, and who is still to come - the Almighty One.'"
That He is and I am so thankful. I also learned that Alpha and Omega are the first and last letters of the Greek alphabet, hence the beginning and the end. Sadly, I never knew that before but I am sure glad I do now. I love learning when I am in the Bible.
Reminding yourself of these facts in any situation is sure to make you breathe easier.
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