When God Speaks

It happens more often than you'd think.  You know, those times when God gives you a direct and, actually, audible answer to what you have been praying for or working on?

One of those moments about brought me to my knees last night, and it certainly made my neighbors look at me a little weird.

I had just finished running.  I have been working on my 5K times lately.  I am trying to get it down below 27 minutes and it seems as if the best I can do is 27:15.  Last night I was just certain I would make it to my goal when I looked at my watch at mile 3, only .1 left to go, and only had 9 seconds or less to sprint it in order to make my goal.  Well, I am not Jackie Joyner-Kersee, so there was no way that was happening.  I finished with a even worse time of 27:24.  It would have been a bit faster but I kind of gave up the last 30 meters and just jogged it to the end because I knew I wasn't going to beat my time anyway.

I was pouting and kicking myself in my thoughts the last few meters of my run with things like, "I'm just not cut out for this stuff," "Why do I push myself this hard when it doesn't do any good?" and "Ugh, this sucks.  Why bother?"

While thinking all these 'lovely' thoughts to myself, "The Voice of Truth" started playing on my iPod.  I didn't hear the first part of it because I was too busy pouting and feeling sorry for myself.  But the second that I reached my 3.1 mile mark and stopped my watch the words coming through my earbuds stopped me in my tracks.  The amazing voices of Casting Crowns rang through to my very soul as I heard them relay a message straight from God.

"The waves are calling out my name and they laugh at me.
Reminding me of all the times I've tried before and failed.
The waves they keep on telling me
Time and time again. 'Boy, you'll never win!'
"You'll never win"

But the voice of truth tells me a different story
And the voice of truth says "Do not be afraid!"
And the voice of truth says "This is for My glory"
Out of all the voices calling out to me
I will choose to listen and believe the voice of truth"

I was telling myself I'd never win and reminding myself of all the times I had failed.  But God showed me this and told me to stop.  He told me to listen to Him and focus on Him rather than myself, to do it for His glory, not mine. 

I will choose to listen to His voice.  I will choose to believe Him.  I will choose to glorify Him.  This needs to be my focus, not a clock I am trying to beat so that I can look like a better runner.