Identity Crisis

Switching modes (which I might do for the next few weeks).  I am starting a new book with my friend, and I will be re-doing another one of my favorites so my posts could come from 3 different directions for the next few weeks. 

The new book I am doing is Make Over by Jen Hatmaker.  It talks about balancing our roles.  Boy, do I have some roles.  I'd list them all, but you'd get totally bored and go back to Facebook after the first 10 or so, so I'll spare you.

Just to name the main ones of course, mom, wife, daughter, sister, friend, and, the killer, has-to-be-involved-in-everything role I gave myself clear back in high school. 

So, for the next few weeks I will be devouring these roles through this book.  Today, she asked if any of my roles felt more like chains.  While I can't really say any of them truly feel like chains, because there are parts of all of them I truly enjoy I do feel like some of them make me stop to try and figure out who I really am.

But that is the deal, these roles define me.  There is no me apart from these things, because if there were, that would not be the same me.  I would not be the same person I am if I weren't a mother or a wife or, well, you get the picture.  It has always confused me when I hear of people who need "time to figure out who they are".  If you separate yourself from the things that define you, the roles you fulfil, what is left?

I am a mom. I would be lying if I said I enjoyed every single minute of it, because, lets face it, cleaning up poopy pants or spanking a disobedient child is not joyous.  But those moments are fleeting and the true joys of playing Monopoly for hours with your kids one evening, having one crawl up on your lap and cuddle in, or running straight to you for comfort after they have just been hurt cannot be topped by anything.

I am a wife.  Again, a role that, if I tried to separate myself from, I wouldn't be the same.  I am part of this union, it makes me who I am.  Heck, I would be a complete mess without my 'other half' and wouldn't know up from down.

I am a daughter.  In more ways that one as a biological child, in-law, blended family member (in a very non-traditional sense of blended families anyway) and child of God.  My life would not be complete without any of these relationships and I definitely couldn't make it through with out the strength of my God and Savior.

I am so many other things that make me, me.  And I love it - most of the time. ;)

Father, I thank you for making me, me (come on, I know you all want to sing the song right now, don't you!?!).  I am far from perfect and sometimes my roles make me want to run for the hills, but at the end of the day, week, month and year I rejoice in these roles and the way you complete me through them.  Thank you for giving me the strength to make it through the tough times and I am ever so thankful for the people who fulfil the opposite sides of each of my roles.  Help me to do better in each of them.  Giving of myself as selflessly as you give yourself for me.