Got a Big Ol' F on that one

I just screwed up.  Big time.  And I thank God for His mercies and His forgiveness as well as the forgiveness of children.

We have been having a really hard time with my youngest daughter lately.  She potty trained almost a year ago.  A whole year.  But lately she has decided (and she has done this off and on throughout this whole year) that it takes too much work to stop what she is doing and go to the bathroom.  So, she just goes in her pants.  Not enough, mind you, to leave a puddle or get completely soaked, she stops herself before that point.  But just enough to get her undies and pants wet, enough that she has to be changed. 

I don't know if you have ever been through this, but you can not imagine how frustrating this is.  We have tried everything.  Reminding her to go.  Taking her to the bathroom.  Making sure she knows what a good girl she is when she does make it to the potty.  Spanking her when she doesn't go on the potty.  Taking away privileges.  And just about anything else we can think of.

Today was another one of those days, as was yesterday.  The day we went to LegoLand in Kansas City, she had six accidents like this SIX.  In four hours nonetheless.  I am at my wits end.  I am tired of picking her up only to realize she is wet.  Or looking down at her playing and seeing that all too familiar wet spot between her legs.  When I picked her up to carry her upstairs and tuck her into bed for nap today, she was wet.  I already had to change her once this morning.  I snapped.  I lost it.  I was mad.  I yelled (a lot, think ugly, mad-red mama face).  I spanked her when I was still angry (which I never do) and I made her sit on the toilet for 10 minutes (which is a long time for a 2 1/2-year-old who still has to hold them self up on the seat).  The 10 minutes was mostly for me to cool off, but I told her she had to sit there so that she could remember what she was supposed to do and where she was supposed to do it.  Lastly, I took away her "mines" (her security blankets that she is very, very attached to).

So after I finally got her cleaned up, changed and tucked into bed I crashed on my couch and just asked God, "Why?"  Why is she being so difficult.  Why can't she figure it out?  Why does it make me so angry?  Why did I just scream at my baby?  I was so mad at myself at this point for how I had treated her, I had to ask for forgiveness. 

Still fuming inside though, I knew I needed something to calm me down.  Prayer and music do that for me.  So I flipped open my computer and turned on pandora.com.  Praying all the while, I just kept asking how I deal with my anger and the issue at hand.  And what do you know?  "Blessings" by Laura Story was the first song on. 

Through this song God reminded me of two things: 1.  If a little potty training issue is the worst thing going on in my life right now, I am blessed and 2.  Even if it is a small thing, I have to bring it to Him, rely on His strength and wisdom to get me through and remember that, like the song says, the trials of this life could be His mercies in disguise.

God is so good.  He knew exactly what I needed to hear.  Even if it doesn't solve the problem, it helps give me perspective. 

So, please don't judge me for losing my cool with my daughter.  Help a poor mama out.  Do you have any suggestions?  Is there something I'm not thinking of.  Do I just need to put her back in diapers?  Even if you don't have the answer, will you do me a favor and pray for me (and her) on this issue.  I don't know what else to do, that is all I have left.

Thanks for "listening".  I needed to get that out.  And now I need to go apologize to and love on my baby girl. 

Not Mine, but Given to Me

Again, the Holy Spirit nudged me to slow down today.  Read it and take it in.

2 Peter 1:1b "To those who through the righteousness of our God and Savior Jesus Christ have received a faith as precious as ours:"  (at this rate it might take me a year to get through 2 Peter).

Praise God for His righteousness and a precious faith.  The think that got me in this part of the verse was that we  have received our faith.  That word made me stop and think.  Now, received is not a word I need to look up to have to know the definition of or even the specifics of.  It means to take or accept something that has been given to you (I am sure there are other, more fancy definitions, but you get my laymo version here).

Up until I stopped and read this verse I had always thought of faith as something that was mine.  It was a decision I made when I decided to accept Christ and what He did for me.  But, here, in this verse it says that faith is also something that was given to me.

When I stop and think about it, it is so very true.  Faith is something that God gave me.  Why would I ever be conceited enough to think I could have something like that on my own?  God planted faith into my very being.  It is part of who we all are.  We just have to make the choice to accept it, to take it into our possession, to make it part of our daily lives.

We also have to realize that this God-given faith is not something we can do on our own once we have accepted it.  As we grow in this faith, we have to stop and realize many times that we don't often have enough, but have to rely on God to fill us.  We have to remember that He is the "author and perfecter of our faith".  So we can't think that we can do it all by ourselves.  It is from Him.  Once we accept it, it doesn't mean that He is separated from it, but that we are now on the faith 'team' together.

Have you made the choice to accept the faith you have been given?  To accept the precious gift of righteousness given to us by the blood of Christ?  It isn't anything you can do on your own, or make better, or be good enough to receive.  It is already there for you.  You just have to accept it and He will accept you.

Stopping the "Skimming"

I am finally moving on from 1 Peter.  It took me a while, but I finished it up and am very thankful to have learned a great deal from it.

So, I just naturally went on to 2 Peter.  Usually, I open up a new book of the Bible and kind of skim over the little greeting that always fills the first couple of verses.  You know, the one the often introduces who the author is and where said author says "hello" to the people to whom he is writing. 

Well, I was doing that today once again, and the Holy Spirit nudged me to stop it.  Stop and actually read it.  See what it says and how it might effect what you are about to read or something else applicable like that.

Here, Peter introduces himself as a servant and apostle of Jesus Christ.  It made me stop and think what I am "of Jesus Christ".  I am a follower of Jesus Christ.  I am a child of Jesus Christ.  I am a believer in Jesus Christ.  All great things that make me who I am.

However, it also made me stop and think about the things I should be "of Jesus Christ" but often choose to skip over as well because they are a little harder.  I should always be an evangelist of Jesus Christ.  I should be a servant of Jesus Christ.  I should be a defender of Jesus Christ.  And I am sure there are many, many more.

So, what are your "of Jesus Christ" labels?   What do you want them to be or which ones do you often find yourself shying away from?

God calls us to be His hands and feet for whatever might need to be done for His Glory on this earth.  It is time we start reading the things we often find mundane (like introductions) and doing the things we are called to do. 

Repetition

You know when God says something twice, you had better listen up.

Well, within two chapters of 1 Peter God has mentioned self-control.  First in 1 Peter 4:7 where he tells us to be clear minded and self-controlled so that we can pray and now in 5:8, telling us to be self-controlled and alert because the devil is on the prowl looking for someone to devour.

What a picture, right?  The devil roaming around like a lion searching for its prey to take down and dismember.  Scary if you ask me.

This world can be a scary place.  There is so much going on.  So many bad things happen to good people and bad things happening around the world. 

So why does self-control and alertness help us in this world?  I had to do some thinking and praying on this one. Here is what the Holy Spirit showed me and since this little topic has come up twice now, I figured I'd better pay attention.

Each of us has weaknesses that pull us down.  Little things that pull us a little more towards the devil's side and away from our closeness to God.  Now, as Christians we can't be separated from the love of God as long as we still believe in Him, but the more we let our weaknesses pull us away, the fellowship we have with Him and dedication we have towards Him are put in danger.

We have to ask God for help.  We can't just think that we can handle these little dilemmas on our own.  The devil wants nothing else but to pull us over to his side, so he is going to use what he can against us, and what better areas to prowl than where we are easily sucked in?

So, if nothing else, this little nudge from God, His repeating something to me to get my attention, shows me to stop and pray about what exactly my flaws may lie and where I need the most help from Him to build resistance.

How about you?  Do you know where your shortcomings lie when it comes to self-control?  Have you stopped to ask Him about what they are and for His help in overcoming them?

As a little added note, dont' you just love the imagery Peter is using in this chapter.  We go from sheperding sheep to watching out for lions on the prowl.  Life is a jungle, people!

Anxiety

I am not generally a worrier.  I am pretty laid back and deal with things as they come.  But as any mother knows, a good amount of worry comes with raising kids.

1 Peter 5:7 is a fairly well-known verse from the Bible.  "Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you."  It is almost one of those 'cliche' verses that gets tossed around too often without people stopping to really appreciate the true meaning in it.

Cast all your anxiety....  Really?  Can one just cast anxiety off?  I know when I am burdened by a worry, care or extra stress it isn't all that easy just to cast it off.  What a skill to learn.  What a trust to give.  But it is exactly what we, as Christians need to do in any and every situation that we are faced with.  Whether it be good or bad, we are to give it to God. 

I think this verse seems cliche because it is SO much easier said than done.  How do you get to that point?  I know I am not there yet.  But, again, this is part of growing in your walk with Him.  You learn as you go, and letting go has to get a little bit easier every time.  To submit and do what we ultimately know is best will hopefully one day become the easier thing to do.

And lastly, we are to do this because He cares for us.  He knows that it is the best way. He knows that it is best for us to give it up to Him.  His plan will always prevail, whether we are anxious about it or not.  He will take care of us.  Watch over us.  Love us.

What are some good ways you have learned to give your anxiety to Him?

More Shepherding

Yesterday, I sat and thought and prayed on shepherding my kids and following the example of the True Good Shepherd.  I also chatted about my thoughts with my friend and we realized that while we kind of knew what a shepherd was we didn't really know the true definition.

Dictionary.com defines it as
1. a person who herds, tends, and guards sheep.

2. a person who protects, guides, or watches over a person or group of people.

3. a member of the clergy.

4. the Shepherd, Jesus Christ.

 

Well, I am definitely not #3 or #4 and I guess if you are talking in true terms of sheep, I am not #1 either. 

The definition actually goes quite well with what we were discussing.  Shepherds don't force sheep places and they don't lead them on ropes.  They guide.  They protect.  They watch over.

 

What a perfect definition of a mom.  Enough said.

 

Now, my friend also pointed out that I have been put in a shepherding position with my Bible Study as well.  I have made it quite clear that I am not the leader of the group, nor will I have all the answers or anywhere close to it.  I simply pick out the book and set up the group.  Shepherd.  I guide it along.  It is really all I can do.  Most of the gals in my Bible study know more than I do.  :)

 

I just love was the end of 1 Peter 5:3 and verse 4 says though.  It is such an encouragement for moms shepherding over their little flocks and even those trying to do what God is calling them to shepherd in other ways.  "...being examples to the flock.  And when the Chief Shepherd appears you will receive the crown of glory that will never fade away."

 

I am called to guide, protect and watch over.  To be an example of the Perfect Shepherd.  And through all the poopy diapers, potty accidents, plates spilled on the floor, vomiting incidents in the mini-van, and all the other pretty things guiding a Bible Study comes with.....  Ha!  Just kidding.... all the other things motherhood comes with I can remember the crown of glory waiting for me.  And just maybe there will be a little extra jewel for getting to sit with a wonderful group of women every week and talk about Jesus. 

Mom Verses

I love it when I come across verses that encourage me as a mom.  There are hundreds throughout the Bible of course and each one speaks to different moms in different ways.

I have heard many people say, when bringing home a new baby, "I wish this thing {baby} came with instructions!"  If only they knew!  Well, it really does, if you just take the time to read and apply them. 

The verse I read today was 1 Peter 5:2  Be shepherds of God's flock that is under your care, serving as overseers - not because you must but because you are willing as God wants you to be.....

Oh!  What a calling it is to follow in the footsteps of the Good Shepherd Himself.  I have been given part of God's flock to care for. What a perspective!  I haven't been forced into this position, but was entrusted to it because I was willing as God has called me to be.

It is also a big responsibility.  When you think of all the Good Shepherd does for us, even just what is listed in the well-known verses of Psalm 23 and then transfer that over to the part of His flock that is under my care, there is a lot to do. 

But what a calling and privilege it is that God would trust me with such a job and such big {little} responsibilities.  (Remind me to come look at this post next time one of my little responsibilities is driving me up a wall!)