I live in a bubble. A happy little bubble. Sure, I've been through my fair share of trials and tribulations, but for the most part my life has been pretty easy.
The hardest thing I have ever had to deal with is growing up without my mom, but since I was so young when she passed, I don't even remember losing her or what life was like with her. So, really, I've never known any different and that makes it a little bit easier to bear. Sure, I have always longed for that true mother-daughter relationship and wonder what it really feels like, but there isn't much I can do about it but experience it with my own daughters.
The next hardest things on my plate have been having some difficulty getting pregnant with our first baby (it took us right at a year) and a miscarriage I had between our 1st and 2nd children. Devastating, yes, but both things that have helped me grow and relate to many other moms in the same situations. (And I love to think that my mom has her very own grand baby to take care of.)
Seriously, that is all I can think of. Now, don't get me wrong. There have been other regular life trials, but nothing out of the ordinary, and I wish for no more. But looking at this very short list, I almost laugh when I read verses like 1 Peter 4:12-13, "Dear friends, do not be surprised at the painful trial you are suffering, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice that you participate in the suffering of Christ so that you may be overjoyed when his glory is revealed."
"Suffering" is such a vague word to me. I've got it so easy. I live life in my quiet, peaceful and happy little bubble and quite honestly expect it to stay this way. I want to stay in my little world all content and blessed.
Reading things like "Interrupted" and "7" by Jen Hatmaker have made me realize that my bubble world is mostly my choice. I can choose to stay here or choose to open my eyes to the oppressed and suffering around me. I can pop my bubble and step into their world. I need to expand my horizons and really see what others have to endure and suffer through to survive in this day and age outside of my blessed, small town Nebraska life.
I am still searching for ways to do this. I am opening my eyes to what really lies beyond and I am excited to share it with you as it comes about. God is still working out the details for me and I am patiently (or not, but I am trying) waiting to see what He reveals as my call to action. So far the steps have seemed very, very small and have just blown my bubble slightly larger, but hopefully I'll get to the popping point soon.
Monday, August 20, 2012
Thursday, August 16, 2012
Excuses, Excuses, Excuses....
I have been pretty worthless this week. I have the mother of all chest colds along with a pretty decent sinus cold as well. I am not usually one to get sick. Working with kids all my life, I have just built up a pretty good immune system, so it takes a lot to knock me down.
Knock me down this cold has done! I cough so hard I can't stand up straight. My head pounds from sinus pressure, and if I don't take an afternoon nap, I am worthless by 4 pm. I have tried to boil water for pasta and forgot to put the water in the pot. I have started the microwave without putting the food in it, and I have left a load of laundry in the washing machine so long that I had to re-wash it - twice! This is how well my brain is functioning, people.
With that being said, I have also been pretty whiny. I am tired, I am sick and I have absolutely no get-up-and-go, so I don't. My house is a mess. It is all I can do to get food on the table and pathways cleared for walking. Then I re-read my 1 Peter verses today and see that "If anyone serves, he should do it with the strength God provides."
My job is to serve my family. I am the cook. I am the maid. I am the taxi. I am the banker. I am the alarm clock. I pretty much do it all. Most healthy days, it requires strength from God to get everything done that needs to be accomplished, so why have I not looked there this week when I feel so crummy? Frankly, I am loving the excuse to be able to just sit and do nothing and whine, but after four days my house, health and family is quietly suffering. They won't say anything because they know I don't feel well, but my kids miss me playing with them. My husband misses our time together because I have just been checking out early and heading to bed and the mess in the house is surely bothering him as well.
Time to kick it in gear. My job is to serve, and yes, I am under the weather, but I am to serve with the strength that God will provide me, and I need to seek that strength instead of wallow in my drug-induced pity. I need to seek that strength not only when I am sick, but when I am well so that I am serving my family and my God to the best of the ability that He can give me. Just think of how much more I would get done knowing I wasn't just running on the strength I have alone, but with God!
Now, its off to the growing laundry pile I go to fold and fold and fold, then some dishes and some cooking and then, maybe a nap?
Knock me down this cold has done! I cough so hard I can't stand up straight. My head pounds from sinus pressure, and if I don't take an afternoon nap, I am worthless by 4 pm. I have tried to boil water for pasta and forgot to put the water in the pot. I have started the microwave without putting the food in it, and I have left a load of laundry in the washing machine so long that I had to re-wash it - twice! This is how well my brain is functioning, people.
With that being said, I have also been pretty whiny. I am tired, I am sick and I have absolutely no get-up-and-go, so I don't. My house is a mess. It is all I can do to get food on the table and pathways cleared for walking. Then I re-read my 1 Peter verses today and see that "If anyone serves, he should do it with the strength God provides."
My job is to serve my family. I am the cook. I am the maid. I am the taxi. I am the banker. I am the alarm clock. I pretty much do it all. Most healthy days, it requires strength from God to get everything done that needs to be accomplished, so why have I not looked there this week when I feel so crummy? Frankly, I am loving the excuse to be able to just sit and do nothing and whine, but after four days my house, health and family is quietly suffering. They won't say anything because they know I don't feel well, but my kids miss me playing with them. My husband misses our time together because I have just been checking out early and heading to bed and the mess in the house is surely bothering him as well.
Time to kick it in gear. My job is to serve, and yes, I am under the weather, but I am to serve with the strength that God will provide me, and I need to seek that strength instead of wallow in my drug-induced pity. I need to seek that strength not only when I am sick, but when I am well so that I am serving my family and my God to the best of the ability that He can give me. Just think of how much more I would get done knowing I wasn't just running on the strength I have alone, but with God!
Now, its off to the growing laundry pile I go to fold and fold and fold, then some dishes and some cooking and then, maybe a nap?
Wednesday, August 15, 2012
A Few Verses; A Lot of Issues
In the last few weeks I have been inching my way through 1 Peter 4:8-11. Yes, four whole verses. One, because these verses are packed full of goodness and two, because I have been so busy I haven't made time for my quiet times or journaling. I have read and re-read these verses, mulling over the various strings they tug at in my heart, praying over issues they make me aware of and asking God how I can improve in each of the areas approached.
"Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers a multitude of sins. Offer hospitality to one another with out grumbling. Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others, faithfully administering God's grace in its various forms. If anyone speaks, he should do it as one speaking the very words of God. If anyone serves, he should do it with the strength God provides, so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ. To Him be the glory and the power for ever and ever. Amen."
I am hoping to take the time to blog on these verses more throughout the week, but this morning I wanted to touch on vs 10 about using our gifts to serve others.
God showed me something just yesterday as I sat in a meeting feeling pretty crummy. I have a terrible chest and head cold and was far from 100%. We went through the meeting and I tried not to cough or sneeze or blow buggers on anyone while I struggled to make sense out of what was going on while keeping things going smoothly and in the order they were supposed to, since I was half-way in charge of leading said meeting.
We got to a part where we needed to decide who would be presenting our group to our church and telling them about our upcoming year and needs. No one was very excited about doing it, so I happily volunteered. Public speaking isn't something that comes easy for me, but it is something that I am fairly good at once I get over myself.
As I re-read these God Words this morning, He showed me that I was putting verse 10 into action. You see, I often wish I was more quiet and subdued. If you know me at all, you know I am not one to hold back, and definitely not shy. I always secretly envy those that are because I think that people see me as loud and brash (we are always so hard on ourselves aren't we?) and wish that I could be the sweet and gentle gal in the corner.
Finally, God used this verse to really show me that he gave me my personality for very good reasons. He gave me my loud, "boisterousness" to serve Him. Now, this is a gift that can be very dangerous if not administered in God's grace. Loud and boisterous people can tend to let their mouths get them into trouble, and believe me, mine has (which might be why I often wish I was more quiet) so one must be careful to use this gift in the correct manner. But, if I were one of these wonderful quiet people, who would have stepped up to present our fabulous group to our church? God is using me and my loudness to serve Him.
So embrace those gifts that God has given you, even if you secretly wish they were different. God gave them to you with very specific intentions in mind.
"Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers a multitude of sins. Offer hospitality to one another with out grumbling. Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others, faithfully administering God's grace in its various forms. If anyone speaks, he should do it as one speaking the very words of God. If anyone serves, he should do it with the strength God provides, so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ. To Him be the glory and the power for ever and ever. Amen."
I am hoping to take the time to blog on these verses more throughout the week, but this morning I wanted to touch on vs 10 about using our gifts to serve others.
God showed me something just yesterday as I sat in a meeting feeling pretty crummy. I have a terrible chest and head cold and was far from 100%. We went through the meeting and I tried not to cough or sneeze or blow buggers on anyone while I struggled to make sense out of what was going on while keeping things going smoothly and in the order they were supposed to, since I was half-way in charge of leading said meeting.
We got to a part where we needed to decide who would be presenting our group to our church and telling them about our upcoming year and needs. No one was very excited about doing it, so I happily volunteered. Public speaking isn't something that comes easy for me, but it is something that I am fairly good at once I get over myself.
As I re-read these God Words this morning, He showed me that I was putting verse 10 into action. You see, I often wish I was more quiet and subdued. If you know me at all, you know I am not one to hold back, and definitely not shy. I always secretly envy those that are because I think that people see me as loud and brash (we are always so hard on ourselves aren't we?) and wish that I could be the sweet and gentle gal in the corner.
Finally, God used this verse to really show me that he gave me my personality for very good reasons. He gave me my loud, "boisterousness" to serve Him. Now, this is a gift that can be very dangerous if not administered in God's grace. Loud and boisterous people can tend to let their mouths get them into trouble, and believe me, mine has (which might be why I often wish I was more quiet) so one must be careful to use this gift in the correct manner. But, if I were one of these wonderful quiet people, who would have stepped up to present our fabulous group to our church? God is using me and my loudness to serve Him.
So embrace those gifts that God has given you, even if you secretly wish they were different. God gave them to you with very specific intentions in mind.
Friday, August 3, 2012
Oh So Simple, Yet So Difficult
Post #100! Yippee! And it has only been 2 weeks since I blogged here last... Oh, I am a hopeless blogger.
Anyway, onto what the Holy Spirit helped me learn today.
1 Peter 4:7 tells us that The end of all things is near. Therefore be clear minded and self-controlled so that you can pray.
We must always live as if Christ could come back in the next hour. Live each moment to the fullest, never putting it off until tomorrow because what if Jesus takes you home today? The end is near because we never really know when the end is.
So here, Peter tells us we always need to be clear minded and self-controlled. Two simple commands, but very hard to actually accomplish. Well, for me anyway.
Clear mindedness seems to have left my brain somewhere between child #1 and #3 and I haven't found it back yet. I am a young 31-years and will find myself standing in a room having no idea why I am there. Or I will be in the middle of one task and get completely distracted with another one, only to find 2 hours later that the first task was never finished. Ahhh!
Well, I don't think this is exactly what Peter was talking about, but some days I wonder if my thinking will ever be uninterrupted again. I think our clear mind here means to make sure we know where we are headed and who we are living for. Our decisions always need to be made with the clear fact that we are children of God and His living hands and feet. If we waiver in this position by our attitudes, behaviors and decisions it can pull us away from Him.
Our self-control needs to follow suit. Not the 'put that chocolate down' type of self control, but one a little bit larger. It is so easy to live in this world, but so hard not to become part of it. We must control our selfish wants and desires to fit in here, or have the most and best things, or to be in the best position. Our self-control needs to be evident in the way that we find our peace and joy through things of the Father and the faith than of this world and the temporary happiness it might provide.
Lastly, Peter tells us we must have these two things so that we can pray. When our mind is clear and we are under control we are in close communion with God and can communicate with Him ever so effortlessly.
It is so easy to fall out of this unity with God and to lose that conversation with Him. When we find ourselves far away from Him, the 'talking' often seems pretty one-sided because we have gone too far astray to really 'hear' his answers.
So, clear your mind, control yourself and pray. A good little mantra to chant to yourself next time you might find yourself in a pickle.
Anyway, onto what the Holy Spirit helped me learn today.
1 Peter 4:7 tells us that The end of all things is near. Therefore be clear minded and self-controlled so that you can pray.
We must always live as if Christ could come back in the next hour. Live each moment to the fullest, never putting it off until tomorrow because what if Jesus takes you home today? The end is near because we never really know when the end is.
So here, Peter tells us we always need to be clear minded and self-controlled. Two simple commands, but very hard to actually accomplish. Well, for me anyway.
Clear mindedness seems to have left my brain somewhere between child #1 and #3 and I haven't found it back yet. I am a young 31-years and will find myself standing in a room having no idea why I am there. Or I will be in the middle of one task and get completely distracted with another one, only to find 2 hours later that the first task was never finished. Ahhh!
Well, I don't think this is exactly what Peter was talking about, but some days I wonder if my thinking will ever be uninterrupted again. I think our clear mind here means to make sure we know where we are headed and who we are living for. Our decisions always need to be made with the clear fact that we are children of God and His living hands and feet. If we waiver in this position by our attitudes, behaviors and decisions it can pull us away from Him.
Our self-control needs to follow suit. Not the 'put that chocolate down' type of self control, but one a little bit larger. It is so easy to live in this world, but so hard not to become part of it. We must control our selfish wants and desires to fit in here, or have the most and best things, or to be in the best position. Our self-control needs to be evident in the way that we find our peace and joy through things of the Father and the faith than of this world and the temporary happiness it might provide.
Lastly, Peter tells us we must have these two things so that we can pray. When our mind is clear and we are under control we are in close communion with God and can communicate with Him ever so effortlessly.
It is so easy to fall out of this unity with God and to lose that conversation with Him. When we find ourselves far away from Him, the 'talking' often seems pretty one-sided because we have gone too far astray to really 'hear' his answers.
So, clear your mind, control yourself and pray. A good little mantra to chant to yourself next time you might find yourself in a pickle.
Wednesday, July 18, 2012
Time Cools Resolution
This is the line that Jen Hatmaker uses often when speaking to others about missional living. I have heard her personally say it twice now. I have also found it to be very true.
If you have read my blog before you know that I am a huge Jen H. fan. I was able to go see her back in March and was completely moved. If you don't know who she is, I highly encourage you to check her out. She has had me rolling with laughter and sobbing in tears numerous times. She has an amazing heart for Jesus and His people.
I had the opportunity to hear her speak again earlier this week as I was blessed with an amazing couple of days with some great friends. While she shared one of the same talks that she shared in March again that night, I did not find myself the least bit disappointed. It was so great to hear it again and be re-encouraged and find some new things that hit me just a little bit differently.
I came away, once again, ready to change the world, but not exactly sure how. I have made some changes since the last talk I attended, but really found her words to be true. Time cooled my "on fire" resolution to make a difference and reach out. This is why I am so thankful I attended again. The fire was re-sparked and my resolution is moving.
Want to know a few things brewing around in my brain??? Shhhh...nothing is definite yet so don't freak out and do anything rash like tell my husband (jk. I mentioned these things to him but he still has some processing to do).
-Missions trip. Our church does them for our youth but has only done a men's organized mission's trip for adults. Watch out CCC I might be doing some organizing in the real future. God has just pressed it on my heart and I just feel like as long as I am here in my comfortable little home and small community, I just won't get it. I need the plight of the oppressed and the orphaned to be smashed into my face so much that it leaves me bawling for days. For some reason, I actually am really wanting to see this. To really have my heart broken by people I can see and touch. (This makes me feel somewhat like a doubting Thomas, that I just won't believe its true until I see it. I think it is that I know it is true, but it is too easy to ignore it here in my safe little world.)
-Adoption. I am scared to death with this one, feeling way too overwhelmed with the 3 children I have and not wanting to start over with a new baby or have to deal with behavior/language issues that might come from an older child. I have no clue what to do, but I really feel God pulling me here. Oh, and there is that little thing called money.
-MOPS. Watch out any of my MOPS mom readers. I am totally going to use you as a resource for fuelling my need to reach out to those in need. Sorry for taking advantage of you in advance! ;) We are going to be hearing from groups in our very own community that can use our help reaching the 'least of these' in our very streets and how we can help them. Be ready to open your hearts, doors, calendars and arms to be His hands and feet.
-I seriously want to talk to one of our pastors at our church. Our church is amazing and I love it, but I feel like we are really lacking in reaching outside our own walls. We do a lot of great things inside our church but when it comes to being missional, I feel like we totally fail. Problem with this one....I am totally too intimidated to say anything and have no clue where to start. Would it be OK just to sneak Jen's book "Interrupted" onto their desks and hope God touches their hearts in the same way, or is that totally chicken?
OK. I said it "out loud". Hopefully, this will help the fire keep going and not just fizzle to embers. If you have any ideas for me on where to start any of these processes, please let me know. I am clueless.
If you have read my blog before you know that I am a huge Jen H. fan. I was able to go see her back in March and was completely moved. If you don't know who she is, I highly encourage you to check her out. She has had me rolling with laughter and sobbing in tears numerous times. She has an amazing heart for Jesus and His people.
I had the opportunity to hear her speak again earlier this week as I was blessed with an amazing couple of days with some great friends. While she shared one of the same talks that she shared in March again that night, I did not find myself the least bit disappointed. It was so great to hear it again and be re-encouraged and find some new things that hit me just a little bit differently.
I came away, once again, ready to change the world, but not exactly sure how. I have made some changes since the last talk I attended, but really found her words to be true. Time cooled my "on fire" resolution to make a difference and reach out. This is why I am so thankful I attended again. The fire was re-sparked and my resolution is moving.
Want to know a few things brewing around in my brain??? Shhhh...nothing is definite yet so don't freak out and do anything rash like tell my husband (jk. I mentioned these things to him but he still has some processing to do).
-Missions trip. Our church does them for our youth but has only done a men's organized mission's trip for adults. Watch out CCC I might be doing some organizing in the real future. God has just pressed it on my heart and I just feel like as long as I am here in my comfortable little home and small community, I just won't get it. I need the plight of the oppressed and the orphaned to be smashed into my face so much that it leaves me bawling for days. For some reason, I actually am really wanting to see this. To really have my heart broken by people I can see and touch. (This makes me feel somewhat like a doubting Thomas, that I just won't believe its true until I see it. I think it is that I know it is true, but it is too easy to ignore it here in my safe little world.)
-Adoption. I am scared to death with this one, feeling way too overwhelmed with the 3 children I have and not wanting to start over with a new baby or have to deal with behavior/language issues that might come from an older child. I have no clue what to do, but I really feel God pulling me here. Oh, and there is that little thing called money.
-MOPS. Watch out any of my MOPS mom readers. I am totally going to use you as a resource for fuelling my need to reach out to those in need. Sorry for taking advantage of you in advance! ;) We are going to be hearing from groups in our very own community that can use our help reaching the 'least of these' in our very streets and how we can help them. Be ready to open your hearts, doors, calendars and arms to be His hands and feet.
-I seriously want to talk to one of our pastors at our church. Our church is amazing and I love it, but I feel like we are really lacking in reaching outside our own walls. We do a lot of great things inside our church but when it comes to being missional, I feel like we totally fail. Problem with this one....I am totally too intimidated to say anything and have no clue where to start. Would it be OK just to sneak Jen's book "Interrupted" onto their desks and hope God touches their hearts in the same way, or is that totally chicken?
OK. I said it "out loud". Hopefully, this will help the fire keep going and not just fizzle to embers. If you have any ideas for me on where to start any of these processes, please let me know. I am clueless.
Monday, July 9, 2012
Defending the Faith
A line in one of my new favorite songs says "Jesus friend of sinners the truth's become so hard to see.
The world is on their way to You but they're tripping over me."
This entire song is chopped full of truths that speak to your very soul. This line just happens to coincide with what I read today in 1 Peter.
Verse 15 says, "Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect..."
Sometimes our egos get in the way. We have the answer and we want everyone else to have it too, but all too often we don't quite get there the right way. We come across conceited, or like we know so much more than they do. Like we have all the answers and they are just filthy sinners who don't have a clue.
OK, so we might not be thinking these things in our heads as we share our beautiful, Christian lives with them, but we have to be careful. It can often times come across this way to them. We have to make sure they know we are no better than they are. The only thing we have that they don't is Jesus in our hearts. We aren't any better, Jesus is.
The other major thing that trips us up is our actions. We go along our merry way telling people how great we have it with Jesus in our lives, but kind of forget to live our lives that way. They might find us using the wrong words or losing our tempers with our kids. Possibly no passing on some grace to a fellow driver on the road or being patient with a new clerk at the local superstore.
Most of the times, these actions are what speak the loudest for us and our Lord. Why would anyone want to live in such a double standard? How can anyone even begin to understand how it all works?
We have an amazing hope people. We need to make sure we live in such a way that people are breaking down the doors to get into it! Gentleness and respect. That is all it takes. Can you pull it off?
The world is on their way to You but they're tripping over me."
This entire song is chopped full of truths that speak to your very soul. This line just happens to coincide with what I read today in 1 Peter.
Verse 15 says, "Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect..."
Sometimes our egos get in the way. We have the answer and we want everyone else to have it too, but all too often we don't quite get there the right way. We come across conceited, or like we know so much more than they do. Like we have all the answers and they are just filthy sinners who don't have a clue.
OK, so we might not be thinking these things in our heads as we share our beautiful, Christian lives with them, but we have to be careful. It can often times come across this way to them. We have to make sure they know we are no better than they are. The only thing we have that they don't is Jesus in our hearts. We aren't any better, Jesus is.
The other major thing that trips us up is our actions. We go along our merry way telling people how great we have it with Jesus in our lives, but kind of forget to live our lives that way. They might find us using the wrong words or losing our tempers with our kids. Possibly no passing on some grace to a fellow driver on the road or being patient with a new clerk at the local superstore.
Most of the times, these actions are what speak the loudest for us and our Lord. Why would anyone want to live in such a double standard? How can anyone even begin to understand how it all works?
We have an amazing hope people. We need to make sure we live in such a way that people are breaking down the doors to get into it! Gentleness and respect. That is all it takes. Can you pull it off?
Tuesday, July 3, 2012
God Speaks
I called my mother-in-law last week to see if she could help me out. I have quite a few errands I need to run and it would be bliss to not have to drag three children along with me to do them. Especially the few that involve stores that are far from child friendly (aka Hobby Lobby and Michael's).
Thankfully, she is awesome and is going to do it for me! Yippee!! But then I got selfish and started thinking, "Well, I am going to be in Lincoln today too. What if I did some of those errands and then was able to just enjoy my time in Lincoln and be able to go to a coffee shop and sit and read a while?" This is an activity I have not done in 6 years. Not even joking.
A friend of mine was telling me that she had the opportunity to do this recently and it made me miss this time. I think I am going to try very hard to try and make this work. A few hours to relax and people watch, sounds heavenly. I am really looking forward to it!
As I was longing for this time to come sooner and more often today as I cleaned up the massive mess in my kitchen after lunch, God put a thought in my head. I was just thinking to myself, "Why don't I schedule more times like these? Why are they so hard to come by?" God said to me, "Think about your grandmother, Shauna. She is probably at home today by herself without much to do and would long for your children to come raid her." (Don't get me wrong, my grandmother works as hard as anyone I know and keeps herself rather busy, but she can have these days whenever she chooses)
Sometimes it is hard to see through the fog. It is hard to remove yourself from the craziness around you; to think through the tiredness; to clean up that spill for the umpteenth time today. It is hard to remember that these years really do fly by when all you do is long for a trip to Wal Mart or Target by yourself or even a trip to the bathroom with no interruptions. Believe me. I know because that is where I am. I don't even bother to shut the door anymore!
I'm not saying that time alone isn't merited or needed in the life of a mom and wife, but it is also great to have this little bit of perspective. Everyone says, "Cherish these years they will fly by before you know it." It is a cliche we have all heard so much we don't even pay attention to it anymore. I know I don't. But, if you really let yourself think about it in a context that can really touch your heart, like your own grandmother who has raised four kids and watched them all move on with their own families. She has buried two husbands and one of those children. She lives at home out in the country by herself. She has lots of uninterrupted time on her hands and probably wishes she could give it all away.
Enjoy every minute of it. Every time you think your head will explode if you hear the word "Mommy" one more time, or have to pick up one more toy. Make it real. Think of what life really will be like in 50 years when they are gone and busy and you're not sure what you will do with your time. Some of that down time, yes, will be wonderful but I bet we'd trade it all in a split second.
God knew I needed this perspective today. What is a real life story that gives you enough perspective to move past the over-used cliches?
Thankfully, she is awesome and is going to do it for me! Yippee!! But then I got selfish and started thinking, "Well, I am going to be in Lincoln today too. What if I did some of those errands and then was able to just enjoy my time in Lincoln and be able to go to a coffee shop and sit and read a while?" This is an activity I have not done in 6 years. Not even joking.
A friend of mine was telling me that she had the opportunity to do this recently and it made me miss this time. I think I am going to try very hard to try and make this work. A few hours to relax and people watch, sounds heavenly. I am really looking forward to it!
As I was longing for this time to come sooner and more often today as I cleaned up the massive mess in my kitchen after lunch, God put a thought in my head. I was just thinking to myself, "Why don't I schedule more times like these? Why are they so hard to come by?" God said to me, "Think about your grandmother, Shauna. She is probably at home today by herself without much to do and would long for your children to come raid her." (Don't get me wrong, my grandmother works as hard as anyone I know and keeps herself rather busy, but she can have these days whenever she chooses)
Sometimes it is hard to see through the fog. It is hard to remove yourself from the craziness around you; to think through the tiredness; to clean up that spill for the umpteenth time today. It is hard to remember that these years really do fly by when all you do is long for a trip to Wal Mart or Target by yourself or even a trip to the bathroom with no interruptions. Believe me. I know because that is where I am. I don't even bother to shut the door anymore!
I'm not saying that time alone isn't merited or needed in the life of a mom and wife, but it is also great to have this little bit of perspective. Everyone says, "Cherish these years they will fly by before you know it." It is a cliche we have all heard so much we don't even pay attention to it anymore. I know I don't. But, if you really let yourself think about it in a context that can really touch your heart, like your own grandmother who has raised four kids and watched them all move on with their own families. She has buried two husbands and one of those children. She lives at home out in the country by herself. She has lots of uninterrupted time on her hands and probably wishes she could give it all away.
Enjoy every minute of it. Every time you think your head will explode if you hear the word "Mommy" one more time, or have to pick up one more toy. Make it real. Think of what life really will be like in 50 years when they are gone and busy and you're not sure what you will do with your time. Some of that down time, yes, will be wonderful but I bet we'd trade it all in a split second.
God knew I needed this perspective today. What is a real life story that gives you enough perspective to move past the over-used cliches?
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